You guys, Hillary is not joking when she says that she is busy with marking. She does not even remember to buy food1. I was immediately innundated with a pile of standardized math tests, which I scattered across the coffee table and living room floor. And then I got to it. 2 and a half hours later, I've got three pages marked and four or five to go. Does every teacher have this much marking to do? According to Hillary, yes they do. They're just more on top of it or something.
OK. Raise your hands if you think Hillary is maybe just a little bit crazy. Be honest. All right, I'll assume that you guys at the back haven't actually met Hillary in person. That's okay. Ever since I met Hillary I've thought she was a little on the crazy side. Also, most of the time that I've known her she's been a teacher or studying to become one. Stay with me here. I don't think it's the Hillary that's making Hillary crazy. I think it's the teaching.
You guys, I've been a "teacher" for all of 2.5 hours now, and I have already started to pick up certain Hillary-isms. I have spoken in strange voices (in response to her strange voices). I have spoken random words and phrases into empty rooms. I may have made up words, only to forget about them completely. And, I am in the middle of composing an unusually long blog posting to avoid any more marking. I'm pretty sure I don't do this at home. In fact, check my blog. I'm more of a twice-a-month-if-you're-lucky kind of blog poster.
At this point, my sugar rush from the cake is over, and the thrill of trying to see how much of that milk I can drink just isn't quite having the same effect. My eyes drill into the screen trying to see how long I can avoid working before Hillary catches me. It's too late.
1Hillary's mom, if you're reading this, send groceries! Or better yet, meals on wheels or something.
This was written by Brad.