After last night's talk, I had (and still have) all kinds of thoughts swirling around about purpose, in both my job and my personal life. I've had a lot on my mind recently in both areas, and as if yesterday's talk wasn't enough, when I got home last night, I came accross a poem and a blog post that both comforted me and made me really sad. I guess they both kind of pointed out something that I know is true, but I haven't really accepted. I ended up having a really crappy night, though it was made so much better by the prayers of a trusted friend.
Today at lunchtime I was checking my email and saw I had one from my friend Colleen, who lives in Munich. She has been away for the last few weeks, and I didn't even know she was back. All the email was was a forwarded article from an online magazine. I read the article, and couldn't believe it. It related exactly to what I was going through last night. It was just what I needed to hear. It was so perfectly, perfectly, perfectly timed.
I believe that God tries to teach me things through all kinds of circumstances. Sometimes those lessons hurt, but God always just blows. me. away. by the wave of love that comes afterward. It's like he says to me, "Yes, I know this lesson is gonig to hurt, but I'm here. I've got you. I love you. You will be OK."
Even as I'm typing this, I'm realizing that all of this is relating back to a passage in the Bible that has had a lot of significance to me in the past (John 15), and has recently come up "randomly" (I don't believe for one second it was random) and struck me again. It talks about my job being to simply remain where I am, to stop striving, to let GOD do the work in me. It reminds me to rest, to stop trying to force my own way, to stop trying to figure things out on my own. It reminds me just to remain close to Jesus and let myself be loved into change.
Listened to a thousand tongues
But there is one who sounds above them all
The Father's song, the Father's love
He's sung it over me and for
It's written on my heart
Heaven's perfect melody
The Creator's symphony
Now he's singing over me
The Father's love
Heven's perfect mystery
The King of Love has sent for me
And now he's singing ove me
The Father's love
from "The Father's Love" by Matt Redman