Saturday, November 10, 2007

Opinions of others

I like to think that I really don't care what other people think. But that's a lie, plain and simple. That's something that's become even more apparent over the last six days as I've started this "I am" series.

I've wondered if I should post it. I've considered setting up a separate blog for it. I've wondered if people will stay away from my blog becuase it's "just a bunch of religious crap" all of a sudden (to quote someone talking about a different blog they were reading).

I care what people will think. I know I shouldn't, but I do. I know there are many of you who read my blog who don't share my beliefs - friends, co-workers, fellow bloggers... I keep thinking that you must think I'm crazy. But why? (Both why would you think that, and why would I think that you think that... I think I think too much, you think? :P )

A big reason that I am doing this series (see how I feel the need to justify?) is not to toot my own horn cause "look at me, aren't I great!" Honestly, it's because I am sick and tired of not acting like the person I want to be, the person I was created to be. I've forgotten who I am. Reminding myself of how God sees me helps me act more consistently with that identity. Not to mention that posting every day keeps me on track, helps me to be sure that I do it. (So if I miss a day, give me heck!!!) Cause I'm just THAT disciplined! Heh. *groan*

It's funny that today's "I am" statement is "I am a witness.*" I guess that's some pretty good confirmation that I should keep doing these posts, hey? :)

But also, it's got me thinking. It's really easy to write up a verse, type out a few lines of a song. Letting my life speak is a whole other ball game. Having a clear view of who I am, of who I want to be, will help.

* I get the statements and the scripture from a list a friend gave me. There always seems to be a song that pops into my head as I'm thinking and praying about the verse, so I post that, too. Just in case you were wondering! :P


Anonymous said...

There's no shame in being conscious of how others perceive you. It's only human. It can be good and it can be bad. It's good because it keeps us from doing something stupid, it bad when it keeps us from being ourselves.

Becca in Texas said...

Hillary your posts have been a big encouragement to me and I have enjoyed reading them. I understand the insecurity of how others view too much religious talk. Even if you have not always felt like it your blog makes your love of God evident. That is one of the reasons I enjoy reading you.

Katrina said...

I agree with Becca--the posts are encouraging. I think there's a lot of pressure on people of faith to "keep it to ourselves" these days, and I applaud your determination not to let the voice of culture be the one that shapes you. Even in your "regular" posts, your faith shines through. It seems like such a natural outpouring from your most true self. So keep the posts coming...they are uplifting!

Carrie said...

I don't share your religious beliefs, but I think it is great that you are happy with them and that you use the Bible to build yourself up. I come here because I like you and that is a part of who you are. It would be a different story if you are preachy, but you aren't. I do think you are very brave for doing such a series because, like you say, not everyone is going to appreciate it.

Hillary said...

Thank you so much for your encouragement. It is truly appreaciated!

Carrie, thank you, thank you for commenting on this post. I always wonder what people think, so I appreciate your honesty and your kind words! :)

Anonymous said...

I AM...amazed at your willingness to be open and honest and yourself.

So, not that you're MY daughter or anything, but you ARE the daughter of my same Father...and I think he would be saying "I AM PROUD OF YOU"

:) Shelli

nachtwache said...

Blogger went wonkey and lost my comment #@$*!!! I get few comments, who cares. They are nice, but I'm doing it for myself. If anyone wants to read it, great, but there are so many blogs and I guess people read what interests them. If I post something that somebody needed to see, great. It's alright to post about life as well. To me it has been clear that you're a Christian.

sarah cool said...

love you. love these posts.

Homsar said...

It's your blog and you can post whatever you want. Nobody's forcing anyone to read it. What some may think is religious garbage, Christians may find encouraging. The I am series has reminded me of who I am in Christ.