Turn that frown upside down

I can tell I need to sit down and think about things I'm thankful for tonight, because as I sit here at my computer staring at the screen in complete and total exhaustion (it was another 13 hour day today), all I can think about is how frustrated and burned out I am by my job this year. Underfunding, huge cuts, a class full of seriously high need (and seriously awesome, but seriously high need) kids, and an insane lack of support have all turned me into a frazzled ranting stress case. You may think I'm kidding, but those who see me regularly I'm sure will vouch for it.

So, as I'm trying to get into the habit of doing so anyway, here's a list of ten things I'm grateful for - ten signs of God's goodness to me from today.

1. I ran into an old friend when I picked up my coffee today - someone I knew from my church years and years ago, and who I used to babysit. Every single one of his co-workers talked about what a lovely human being he was, and as I left, I realized just that little interaction made for a happy little kick start to my day.

2. I'm grateful for my coffee! :)

3. The tech guy showed up today to set up the computers and the program I need for my new ESL students. I only requested the job yesterday, and was surprised to see him so soon. This means I can start the kid's program tomorrow instead of waiting till next week like I thought I would have to.

4. It was a beautiful sunny day today after a day of monsoon rain yesterday. I'm grateful for ANY sun in Vancouver in November, and we got nearly a whole day of it!

5. I got some ideas from the ESL consultant today which should be helpful for my kidlets, and she called me back right away! Hooray!

6. I got an email from my mom today that my bedroom is ready to go and I can start moving stuff in as early as this weekend. Not having to do everything all in one weekend will make this move SO much easier!

7. Today was my prep period, so I had a bit of a breather in the middle of the day to get stuff done.

8. There are some really great people at my school this year, and I really like them. I'm grateful for fun co-workers.

9. I love my new computer! Finally I don't have a dinosaur slug of a beast! It's fast and it's big and it's shiny! OoooOoOOoOOOoOOOooo!

10. I'm grateful for this list and how it's helped my grumbly, ranty self remember that I have been blessed throughout today.

11. I'm grateful for my bed.

I'm gonna go sleep on it now.

I think this proves I'm cerifiably insane

NaBloPoMo.

"NaBo...what?"

National Blog Posting Month. It comes 'round every November. It's a challenge. Post something every day for the month of November.

I'm in. And I'm CAH-RAY-ZAY. But, I miss blogging. I miss getting my thoughts down, recording bits from my days, and the interaction that is a blog. Sooo... I'm signing up.

My teaching year this year is the craziest it's ever been. I have HUGE needs in my class and the least support I've ever had. It's insane, really. We're REALLY feeling the effects of the latest round of cuts to education in this province - they're deep. I'm at school for 10-12 hours a day. Oh, and they're considering closing my school.

I'm making big decisions about my future - researching schools, doing some self-study, and generally feeling like major life shifts are causing emotions to be very near the surface.

Oh, and in November? I'm sorting through my life for the last eight years - purging, sorting, storing, and moving. That's right! I'm moving back in with mom and dad so I can save some moolah for school in September.

AND report cards are due at the end of the month.

So of COURSE it makes sense to commit to blogging every day. I figure it'll either keep me same or help push me over the edge. Stick around and find out which!

I'll bet you won't be able to tell the difference!)

Move over, Gretzy, Miss Hillary's class is a-comin'!

Have I mentioned how much I love my class this year? Cause I do. Love my class. They are SO fun! And super adorable. And I SO wish I could show you pictures of their cuteness.

We were in gym today, and we're vaguely doing a floor hockey unit. We do a few passing drills, talk super briefly about a few general rules, and then let them play a game. Of course, they're little, and there's only eleven of them (oh yeah, did I mention I only have ELEVEN KIDS??? I am such a better teacher when I only have eleven kids to deal with, let me tell you!). This makes the gym seem really, really empty, but is good in the sense that they pretty much have no choice but to participate.

I was so proud of one of my girls today - when we first started the unit, she refused to play and just hung back holding the stick limply in one hand. She didn't know how to play and I don't think had a lot of confidence because of it - heck, I can SO relate! I HATED sports as a kid. I had no clue, and so had no confidence at all in gym and in team sport situations. I totally don't blame her! But today she was in there, shooting the ring (we don't use a puck, but a rubber ring thing), passing, stopping, shooting... AH! I was so PROUD of her!

Ah, but where I was really going with this was the goggles. Always safety-conscious, elementary kids have to wear goggles when they play floor hockey. The kind we have are HUGE on the kids, and I totally thought they would all complain, but not ONE of them do. They wear these crazy things and rip around the gym with their hockey sticks, SO into it, and let me tell you, it's all I can do not to totally crack up when an itty bitty grade two boy who's significantly shorter than the net is playing goalie, all gung-ho, wielding a hockey stick that's six inches taller than he is, in goggles that cover three-quarters of his face... and he's actually REALLY GOOD!

If you ever need a pick me up, get a class of grade two and three kids and turn them loose with hockey sticks (heaven help us all!).

TOTALLY should be the theme song for Vancouver 2010

Highlights

So here's a few snippets of what I've been up to the last few weeks...

Hiking

Went up Cypress with my friend Chris around Thanksgiving. 'Twas glorious to be out in the mountains, especially with all the fantastical fall colours. But good golly, I'm a big ball of wuss when it comes to hiking these days. Something about the no mountain and 45 degree heat situation in Korr that wasn't so great for keeping me in top hiking form. That was pretty much the easiest hike in the world and I was all Little Miss Jelly-Legs by the end of it. But it sure was purdy!


Hot tickets

Last Monday some friends offered me a ticket to go see U2. How could I say no?!? We went, and it was SPECTACULAR. A-MA-ZING. ZING, ZING, ZING! Got some great pics, too! Still in the process of culling out the (many, many, many) bad ones, but here's one that's not to shabby. It's fun, Bono and the Edge look like they're floating!


Halloween

My costume was rather lame and predictable (woohoo... cowgirl! I had grand plans for a zebra, but that never panned out. I had no time, and frankly, just didn't care that much.) My friend Trudy's costume, on the other hand - FAN-FREAKING-TASTIC.


Happy

Fall beautiful-ness. I love it! It's been GORGEOUS this fall. The leaves seem particularly vibrant and colourful this year, the weather's been beautiful, and life in general has just been good. Sorry, no picture for that one. Picture a happy Hillary!

Feast or famine

It's been pretty scarce around here these days. I've missed a few weekends of Watch it Weekends, partly cause I'm busy, and partly cause I'm not sure anybody's actually watching. But I definitely need to get blogging again, mostly cause it's a great way to get my thoughts out. That and it's fun to write.

So what better way to switch from famine to feast than NaBloPoMo? Ah, yes. National Blog Posting Month. The challenge: post every day for the month of November. Why? Cause it's a good challenge, it's fun to read what others have to say, and cause good golly I still have so much to blog about it might get my butt in gear to finish some of those Kenya posts I really want to get written before I forget! So some might be long, some might be short, some that are deep and profound, most that are anything but... but posts there will be!

Happy November! NaBloPoMo, here we go!

But on the bright side...

Today was a gong show. Absolute, total gong show. The past two weeks, things have been escalating in my class to a point where I am on the verge of l-o-s-i-n-g it. Kids who run away and hide in the school. Kids who just decide to wander the class, play with toys, and bang on instruments in the middle of a lesson... aaaaand, I could go on for days, but you know what, I wasn't going to focus on that.

Instead I was going to focus on the two things that brightened my day. Cause that's always a better way to go!

The social committee (of which I am a part) decided last month to do a "Secret Angel" program for anyone who wanted to participate. So I made up a questionnaire and asked whoever would like to participate to fill it out nad return it to me. Then we did a secret draw and everybody got thier recipient. The idea is that you use the questionnaire and pay attention to the person you have andthroughout the year, you give little gifts - just little, no breaking the bank necessary - or notes or whatever to that person to encourage them and to just genreally brighten their day.

It got off to a bit of a rocky start (asking the change the person you drew cause you've had a conflict with them? Not quite the point. Oy vey.), but it's underway, and I've seen thank you's "to my secret angel" popping up in the communication book. Hooray! I'm really glad it got of the ground!

So today, in the middle of all the insanity - behavoiurs, runaways, meetings (straight through my prep, straight through recess, straight through between recess and lunch, and all the way through lunch - I'd had to pee since 10am. I got to at 4. And I have yet to eat my lunch... but right, I wasn't going to rant!)... where was I? Oh yes. In the middle of the insanity. I checked my box for a form I needed forone of the meetings, only to find something from MY secret angel. Three somethings, in fact.

Once I had a chance to breathe, I took them back to my room and opened them up. When I think "Secret Angel program" I think notes, maybe a candy bar here or there, little stuff like that. But what I recieved was way above and beyond. I was truly overwhelmed by the thoughfulness of my secret angel.

First, I opened up a little mini book called "The Little Book of African Wisdom." It's full of sayings and proverbs from Africa and the African diaspora. Second, I opened a large, decadent dark chocolate bar (that I'm trying very hard not to just scoff down right here and now!) called "Divine - Heavenly chocolate with a heart," a fair trade chocolate company. Third, I recieved a CD from one of my favourite music publishers, Putumayo, called African Playground. It's a collection of kids songs by African artists from all over the continent. I have their "World Playground" CD and LOVE it. I'm listening to my new CD right now, and it, too, is FABULOUS. How blessed am I!

And then of course, the kids... they always give me lots to laugh about, but sometimes there are gems that just need to be shared...

We had all gathered on the carpet to begin the day and before I could get out a "good morning," grade two "Kianna" asked the question that would make me giggle all day long:

"Miss Hillary, are you having a bad hair day, or is that just a new look for you?"

(The difference? I had actually had enough time to both wash and blow dry my hair this morning. I actually thought it looked ok for once in my life! Ha!)

Realism or lack of faith?

So it's now six weeks exactly until January 1st, the approximate date I had in my head that I would be leaving for Africa, and I still don't even have my assignment yet. This means that no official fund raising has begun (and I'll be needing to raise, in my best estimate, $8000 - $10,000 BEFORE I'm allowed to leave). No visas have been applied for (cause I don't even know for sure what country I'm going to). No plane tickets have been bought (don't they get more and more expensive closer to the date?). There's a heck of a lot that has to happen AFTER I get my assignment.

I'm starting to accept the possibility that I won't be going first thing in January. But then there's a little voice inside my head that says, "Oh you of little faith, why do you doubt?" I know God CAN do it, but I guess I'm just starting to wonder if he WILL.

Prayers are much appreciated!!! That assignment needs to come through SOON!

Ridiculous

Anyone think it's really silly to do NaBloPoMo if you're just posting things like this to make the deadline?

Yep, I thought so, too. Especially since I didn't really make the deadline and I'm backdating this post.

Meh. NaBloPoMo. Who needs it? ;)

Chopped Liver No More? You be the judge!

Buah ha ha! I got a card today!!! ('Member my complex from last week?)

The kids were cleaning out their desks today, and one girl found a crumpled up card she had made for Miss LastYearTeacher that had been squished up against the back wall of her junk-stuffed desk. She looked at me, drew a big X over the felt-pen-written bubble letters spelling "Miss LastYearTeacher" and wrote my name on top in skinny little pencil lines. Spelled incorrectly.

She looked up with a smile and said, "Here, Miss Hillary, this is for you!"



Ah, these munchkins. They crack. me. up.

Surprises surprises!!!

So my friend Jean's hubby gets a nomination from me (and I'm sure from Jean!) for the husband of the year award for. sure.

In mid-August, Ed and Jean moved from (more or less) their home town in Grand Rapids to Seattle so Ed could go to grad school. I can only imagine how hard it must be to be away from friends and family, and how much they must be missing them.

So Ed decided, as a surprise for Jean, to fly out one of Jean's best friends, Anne, and her daughter for a surprise visit for nearly a week! He orchestrated it perfectly, and Jean was SHOCKED when Ed came home from school last Wednesday with two extra people in the van!

Ed graciously invited me to come down and join them yesterday, so of course I jumped at the chance! I headed down to Seattle early Saturday morning and got to spend the day with Jean, Anne, Sam, Alina, and Randi! In the evening, Ed came home from working on his paper and two of Anne's friends who live in Seattle came over, too, and we all had Thanksgiving dinner together! (I had invited Ed and Jean up for Canadian Thanksgiving, but it just didn't work out, and they have spent the last few - many? - American Thanksgivings with Anne and Andy, so we did it in the middle and they got to do both! ... well, minus Andy, who was holding down the fort in Grand Rapids! :) )

These two women (and Sarah, too! I'm not forgetting about you, just because you couldn't be there!) are such a blessing to me! Their friendship goes far beyond our blogs, where we first met, to the (way better!) realm of real life, where we keep in touch, pray for each other, and enjoy spending time together when time and travel allow. It's for days like yesterday that I'm so thankful for the creative ways (like the internet!) that God brings beauty and friendship into our lives!

Thanks, ladies! I'm so glad you're my friends! :)

Don't mind the weird blue colour... my camera was doing funny things. And also, what you don't see are the oodles of candy wrappers from our late night Brian Regan watching Halloween candy feed! Ah, good times! :)

What is happiness?

You'll have to wait till tomorrow to find out! Muah hahahaha!

Also, check THIS out...

Africa Update

Arh! I feel like everything is at a standstill (I know it's not, it just feels that way)! I've done everything I possible can on my checklist. I'm waiting for my next round of vaccinations. I'm waiting for all my forms to get to the office to get my medical and police clearance. I'm waiting to send out a reminder email about my fundraiser. I'm waiting to prepare a slideshow for the fundraiser and I'm waiting to officially begin my fundraising because I'm still waiting to hear about my assignment.

Perhaps God's trying to teach me something about waiting, what do you think??? :)

They're working on it as fast as they can, I know that. The lady in charge of short term assignments has been in Africa, so it's been difficult to work on it. They know time is short, and actually, I've been really pleased with how they've kept me informed, and I know that they are pretty much scrambling to find something for me.

One little complication is that they are trying to find another person for me to go with - the long term missionaries are requesting - for a variety of reasons - that no short termer comes to them on their own, that they at least have a partner. Now this is a pretty big answer to prayer, cause overly-dependent-on-other-people-for-interaction extroverted Hillary was getting a wee tad worried about not having a lot of peer interaction while I was gone. I know the long term missionaries would be there, but I was cautious about how much I wanted to rely on them 0 they've got their own families and lives, after all (though I know they'd be very welcoming and helpful, too). So in one sense, I'm really relieved to know that there will be another short termer wherever I am.

But that creates... shall we say, two opportunities for prayer? :) One is that now they have to find someone who wants to go on the same timeline as I do to the same place (doing the same thing? I'm not sure about that one). So, logistically, it's harder, hence a bit of the delay. So if you're the praying type, I'd love it if you'd pray that something comes together soon!

And the second opportunity for prayer is that, well, the unknown is always pretty scary. Immediately I wonder, what will this person be like? Will we get along? What if we don't? What if they don't like me? What if I don't like them? (which is kind of ridiculous, because very rarely do I meet someone I don't like!) But of course, I worry. I'll be in the middle of nowhere, paired with a total stranger, most likely living and working closely in a really intense environment for seven months. So I'm trusting that God is leading them to the right partner for me and that soon I'll have another lifelong friend and fabulous girlfriend to share my experience in Africa with.

So basically, that's where things are at. I'm waiting. Thank you, God, for the waiting time??? Haha!

Here's hoping a jubilant post is coming very soon in which I can tell you just what I'll be doing in six weeks time.

Oh yes, my friends. SIX WEEKS!!! Crikey!

Phew! What a day!

Ok, so yes. I could say that at the end of every day (and more often than not, I do). These kids kill me. It never ceases to amaze me how one day can run the gammut of awesome to tear my hair out to that calm slow speaking tone that they all know means I am about to LOSE IT to pride in my kidlets to furious to fun and carefree. And that's all before the recess bell!

As challenging as it is working at this school, I have got some NEAT kids. I keep saying it to other teachers and - most importantly - to the KIDS: I really like these little guys and gals. They are teaching me SO much about how to be a better teacher (in part because you HAVE to learn or you DIE, but hey...) and even about myself. They are stretching me thinner than I ever thought I could be stretched, but I'm getting creative, building positive relationships with these kids, making all kinds of blunders along the way, and learning lots from my fabulous support worker.

But it's these kids that get me every time. Those little moments when I can get a little talk in with one of them, show them something they didn't know before, see their face light up when I tell them what a great job they're doing... They crave this love, this attention SO much. They need it. Many of them get so little of it among homes where parents are stretched thin and everybody is just doing what they need to do to make it through another day. My heart breaks for some of these little ones.

My lovelies, do you know that I go home and weep for you? You are precious. You are loved. You are a source of so much joy for your creator - who I hope one day you'll know. You are important. You matter. You say you can't, but I know you can - you are able. You are special. You are unique - made to be like no-one but you. You are creative. You are kind-hearted. You have eyes and smiles that light up the room. You are funny. You are smart. You are doing your very best.

You are precious. You are loved.

I'll say it again, because you need to hear it: You are precious. You are loved. And I am so lucky to be your teacher.

What am I, chopped liver???

Every week my kids go to the library while I have my prep. The librarian has a great little transition activity for them when they get there - she's got puzzles, paper, and colouring supplies out for them and gives them some time to come in and get settled before she begins her lesson.

And every week, without fail, my kids make cards. They REALLY like making cards. Finished their work early? They make cards. Centres time? They make cards. Library time? They make cards. Sometimes the cards are for other students in the class (those ones are always birthday cards - whether or not it's actually that student's birthday or not!), but more often than not, they are really cute little cards expressing love from a student to their teacher. "I love you!" "You're the best teacher!" "You're so nice." "Thank you!"

I know! Melt-your-heart-sweet, hey?

Except there's only one thing. The cards are always for LAST YEAR'S TEACHER!!!

"Look Miss Hillary, we made a card for Miss L!"

Ooooh, well isn't THAT nice? What about ME? Don't you love ME TOO? WHY WON'T YOU MAKE CARDS FOR MEEEEEEE?????? WAAAAHHHH! You don't looooove me!

Just you wait till I leave for Africa! Then all their cards will be for ME!

MUAH HA HA HAAAAAAA!!!!

__________________
* Just for anyone without a sense of humour out there, I'm KIDDING! I'm LAUGHING. I think it's CUTE. I *don't* actually depend on the approval of seven and eight year olds for my self worth.

They shall not grow old as we who are left grow old.
Age shall not weary them, nor the years condemn.
At the going down of the sun and in the morning,
We will remember them.

In the poem In Flanders Fields, we are given the charge to hold high the torch, lest those who gave their lives have died for naught. This year I watched the Remembrance Ceremonies in Ottawa on TV. They began a new tradition - the passing of torch of Remembrance. It began with 108 year old John Babcock, the last remaining Canadian veteran of World War I passing a torch to first a World War II veteran, to a Korean War vet, to a peacekeeper, and finally to a modern day veteran from Afghanistan.

Something about that really struck me. Mr Babcock. He is the last. remaining. veteran. of World War I. After he's gone, after the World War II vets are gone, then what? The importance of remembrance struck me today. Very soon e will not have those faces at our cenotaphs. Those wrinkled faces, once strong, still brave men and women who put our country, our freedom, our way of life above their fear, above their own lives. How often to I forget to be thankful for the place I live, the freedom I have. I'm ashamed to admit that I haven't been to a Remembrance ceremony for a number of years. I do remember - assemblies, and I usually watch a ceremony on TV, but what? I can't be bothered to get in my car and go stand for an hour in honour of these?

And so I watched the torch of remembrance being passed. A small symbol, yes, but significant. May that torch never extinguish.

The do's and don'ts (but mostly don'ts!) of prayer cards

HA! AIM has a little tutorial for making up prayer cards. The tips are good, but the (fictional) examples of all the things NOT to do are better. Much, much better.



*UPDATE* This is probably the 6th time I've sat here staring at these prayer cards. The seconds one gets me EVERY. TIME. I'm laughing hysterically out loud here all by myself. I can't help it! "Committed to celibacy in Kenya with Africa Inland Mission. - She really needs your prayers!" Tears! There are tears of laughter flowing! (And the first "do" tip above the card is "Smile! You're going to Africa! That's a GOOD thing!" Somebody really needs to tell Miss Korbel!)

aaaah hahahahaha!

"I like big butts" like you've never seen it before

Just another reason why I *heart* Myles and Tessa...

Marian Call

Marian is a friend of my friend Tora, and she's AMAZING! She's got some great songs that totally make me giggle! Hope you enjoy...

Vanilla (I'm not sexy)

(The song begins at 30 seconds)


I wish I were a Real Alaskan Girl

(The song begins at 1 minute)

Like babysitting for my blog...

I'm going away for the weekend - hooray! After this week, I SO need it! - but it's NaBloPoMo, so I'm still gonna post. This is where youTube comes in so very handy! I'll amuse and amaze with videos that make me smile, and I hope they make you smile, too!

Video numero uno... school kids! In the middle of nowhere somewhere in Kenya! Singing! I l-o-v-e their accents! It took me two or three verses to figure out what they were saying, but they're SO adorable! :)