Saturday, October 08, 2005

And now for something completely different...

So this is how non-political I am: I'm even uncomfortable with that giant post I wrote yesterday even being on my blog. I was considering moving it to my other webpage and just linking to it. But I wrote it, it's there, so there it will stay. Unless I change my mind. Anyway, I said this would be different...

This past week has been both hard and interesting. Cathy left on Monday after staying with me for two months. Her practicum was over and she has two weeks to spend visiting friends and relatives in Edmonton and Winnepeg, then she goes back home to Australia. It was so great to have her here. We hung out all the time (and with my friends Dave and Jordan, we made quite the foursome!) and it was neat to have a roommate experience. Other than living with my aunt and uncle and cousins for eight months in northern BC (Mackenzie, to be exact, a town so small mapquest doesn't recognize it), I've only lived on my own.

I've always enjoyed living on my own, definitely not because I like to have lots of "on my own" time. I am a person who needs to be around people. But living on my own, I can do what I want - host a Bible study or dinner party without checking with anyone first, rearrange the furniture (not that I've done that, but hey, I could if I wanted to!), leave a mess (err... I neeever do that...), or be alone if I want. It the "it's my house and I get to do what I want" idea. However, because there is not someone else at home, I am often having people over - I love to host, talking on the phone - I love to talk, or talking to people on messenger. I need that connection with other people.

And honestly, in the past few months, I had been feeling a little fed up with living on my own. If my landlords weren't so great, I didn't like my place so much and I didn't really know my neighbours, I would consider moving and maybe finding a roommate. It would certainly be nice to share the burden of rent! But I don't really know anyone who I'd like to live with who is also looking for a roommate, and I really don't want to leave the good thing I've got here (even if the silly patio posts are BLUE. Rar.). It's jsut that sometimes it was geting me down living alone.

Also, a few months before Cathy came to stay with me, I was wondering if the "It' my house I'll do what I want" thing was promoting self-centeredness. I don't have to have consideration for anyone else at home. While sometimes it's good to be able to have the freedom to do what we want, I think too much of that could end up to be a bad thing. So when Cathy talked about coming, I was worried about that on two levels. First, on a more selfish level, I wondered if I would not enjoy having to share my space with someone else, and if I would resent having to check with someone else before I had people over or made plans. That was only a small concern, though. The second concern was that *I* would drive *her* crazy. Also, I wanted her to feel like this was her home, too, not that she was jsut a guest and should feel like she had to ask before she did anything.

It turned out I had nothing to worry about. Or at least, if I drove her crazy, she hid it well! ;) Even though it was tight quarters, I actually really enjoyed having someone else around. It certainly didn't hurt that it was someone as fun as Cathy! I didn't mind sharing my space at all, and it turned out checking with her was kind of a non issue most of the time because we'd just always hang out together (she didn't know anyone really when she came, so my friends jsut became her friends). And, she felt totally at home here, which made me really happy.

So when it came time for her to leave, I started to wonder how I'd be feeling about gonig back to being on my own again. It was kind of getting to me before, so would it be all the more obvious that I live alone after having the contrast of having a roommate?

Cathy left to catch her flight after I went to work on Monday, so when I went to work, she and all her stuff were still there. Packed up, but still there. When I got home from work, my place looked really empty! She had even taken off the sheets and folded up the quilt on her bed. Sigh. I was very obviously back to living on my own again.

That combined with work being exhausting this week and all this ugly strike stuff, it's been a rough week. Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday all I did when I got home was check email, read a few blogs, and flop in front of the tube, only to fall alseep there and wake up the next morning with a crick in my neck and a bigger mess around the house than there was the day before (those mess-making trolls... they must come at night and wreak havoc. There's no way *I* could let things get so messy. Not me, no sir.). I couldn't even hack Bible Study on Wedensday. I never skip out of that unless I'm out of town, which is hardly ever.

So it's been interesting to say the least. It's the long weekend now, though, and I'm going to be well fed (three Thanksgiving dinners in a row, and Dave and Jordan had me over for dinner last night) and hopefully well rested. It looks like I"ll still have some free time next week, cuase I don't think this teacher's strike is going to be resolved soon.

I jsut hope this feeling of sheer exhaustion and mild depression goes away soon. I want to be back to Happy-Go-Lucky-Hillary again. Maybe it's time for a walk through all those crunchy fall leaves to cheer me up.

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