Tuesday, January 23, 2007

Stress

- Never, EVER coming even CLOSE to finishing all the stuff I've got to do for work
- Being reminded yesterday that I'm this month's union rep and I have to go to the meeting today immediately after school, when I already had plans for tonight and that will just put me yet one more step further behind (see #1)
- Remembering that as part of being union rep I get a half day off in lieu of union duties, but that means actually prepping for a sub, which will take nearly as long as just teaching anyway
- Being hungry and out of groceries again, and deciding to just not eat dinner cause that's easier, and knowing that that is NOT a healthy thing but being too tired to even care at this point
- Totally forgetting about a commitment I made to two friends to do something, and kicking myself for forgetting, cause what I was supposed to do wasn't even for their benefit, but mine, and probably would have alleviated some of the stress I'm b!tching about here
- Having students in my class that won't/don't/can't pay attention, so don't understand, so get frustrated, and start crying, and I totally want to help them, but what else am I supposed to do if they don't pay attention and won't stay in for help and shut down when I tell them about something they need to correct, and if their parents won't get them tested so they can get more support and if I have 26 other kids who also need my attention ......
- Seeing all these kids in my class and knowing they deserve SO much more than I'm able to give them right now
- Having a growing list of things that really need to be dealt with. Like the water that is still leaking into my trunk from who knows where and seriously, seriously needing to go buy new pants
- Knowing I should probably be sleeping right now instead of writing this, but knowing that I won't be able to sleep till I get this all out (lucky you)

Good thing tomorrow's another day. This one almost killed me.

Goodnight

13 comments:

Anonymous said...

I wish you a better day tomorrow and the next day and the next! I'll pray about that. :)

Melissa said...

Sounds like forgetting (and then being reminded of) the union rep meeting, at the last minute, really mucked up your plans.

No food in the house is always a good excuse for me to order delivery food. I don't do it often but it's way worth it at those times.

Hope things look better in the morning.

brian said...

Sorry to hear about your rough day. I hope and pray the next day will be a better one - I find that a night's sleep usually helps and offers me a fresh perspective in the morning.

Adina said...

Ahh, Hillary... I feel your pain. I too have many days of stress with 6 kids (including Hannah) in my dayhome. Many days when I think the stress is literally going to kill me, all I can utter is "help me Lord". And, He always comes through. I wish I was there to help you in some way. Even if it was only to cook you a nice homemade dinner, pick up your groceries for you, or take your car in to get it fixed. Alleviate some of that frustration... I know how much it helps to have someone take something off my list of "to-do's". I'll pray for you, that everything is straightened out really soon... and that you have time to relax.

Queen Bee said...

Aww, Hillary, sorry you had such a rough day. Keeping you in my prayers, and ask for help if you need it, you have great friends and a great family.

Wendy said...

Doesn't it feel great to just let it out? I hope you slept well after taking the time to vent. Also hope that in the midst of all this stress, you take some moments each day to do something really fun for you. Something you would encourage a friend to do if they were really stressed. You deserve it.

Jenn said...

oh, deep breath, good sleep and a strong cup of coffee tomorrow morning - and things will look a little better, I promise!

vent away at us, babe, that's what we're here for. :D

Anonymous said...

Wow, I just got a flashback from when my husband was a teacher (he taught first and second grade for six years). Same stresses -- especially the bit about sub teachers -- he used to say, "It's not worth having the day off, since I spend more time getting ready for a sub. I'd rather just be in the classroom." As a former sub myself, I have to say I always appreciated those teachers who spent a lot of time getting ready for me, though -- it was awful to walk into a room and not have ANYTHING ready and have to wing it all day.

Hang in there, hero. Your job sure is worthwhile.

Anonymous said...

So, where do we start? You know ... me and you ... changing the face of education. I'm ready. Just let me know.

Not like you have anything else going on in your life right now!

:)~

Anonymous said...

Don't you just HATE days/weeks/months like that??

Just listen to Scarlett O'Hara:

Fiddle-dee-dee, Tomorrow is another day!

Melissa said...

It's Friday! The weekend's coming! Hang in there! :)

Niki said...

you are loved.

Evan said...

Hi, came via Cece's blog,
Your picture looked like you were atop the big big tower looking thing in the city of love! So i clicked, and hey your a teacher too! I empathised with each and every point you made- mirror image almost, luckily I'm on year end holidays and back tomorrow :(

thanks for a good read.

Ev