Time for a party. What to wear? I've never been a big party girl, and somehow missed the "style" lessons growing up (where oh where is what not to wear when you need them?). So of course, I have a major hissy fit when it comes time to find clothes to wear. All I have (ok, most of what I have) is cotton stuff, mostly from boring big box clothing stores. Sheesh! Every time I have to (want to) get dressed up for something, I head to the mall and wander aimlessly, only to be frustrated by nothing fitting right, especially tops. They're all SO low, or way too tight. Not good, especially on me. But also, I get sick of my style, and so go looking for something totally different. I always end up frustrated, though, cause after top after top after top after top that I'm way too big for, I come to the realization that I'm trying to be something that I'm not. I'm not the sparkly halter top (for example) kinda girl, I don't know why I keep trying to be.
I got thinking about that on the way home from the mall today, and came to a deeper realization that there's a flaw in my logic: I keep trying to be someone I'm not. Why? I would say that in general I'm happy with the who I am. So what's the deal? Obviously on some levels I think that who I am is not enough. The logical resolution to that problem is to learn to be happy with who I am. But who am I, anyway? And how do I just turn around and "be satisfied" with that?
Hmmm.... the "who am I" question. I suppose if I knew, it would be easier to be satisfied with that! Sigh.
On a side note, I *did* manage to find a cute article today. Though I don't have anything to go with it. I guess I do have something, but it's kinda marmy. I want to look a wee bit sexy tonight (not 'raunchy' sexy, but 'pretty' sexy). Guess that'll have to wait till next time. Or the next.