Sunday, April 22, 2007

Fun Times in Grade 5

I haven't blogged too much about school/work lately, but we've been doing some really fun stuff! (At least, *I* think it's fun!) But here's a warning. If you're weak of stomach, you may want to skip this post!

A few weeks ago in Health and Personal Planning, we finished a nutrition unit where the kids logged everything they ate or drank for a week (supposedly), the compared that to the Canada Food Guide. We learned about nutrients, food groups, serving sizes, and how very, very bad fast food is for you. I showed the movie Super Size Me. I didn't have time to preview it, though 3 or 4 teachers assured me that, other than one or two "S-words" and him puking out the window of the car, it was totally fine. (I would really rather not have had the swearing, but the message of the movie was too good to not show it cause of that.)


They neglected to mention the part where his girlfriend is recounting the effect Morgan's all-Mickey-D's diet was having on their sex life. In rather graphic detail. Unfortunately we didn't have time to complete the entire video that day, so had to cut it short. Right after that part. Soooo, the kids went home with, "Yeah, he has a really hard time getting it up... I mean, the sex is still good, but it's not what it was... He's just too tired... I have to be on top all the time..." being the last thing they remember from the movie. Yes, I DID make a mad dash from the pack fo the class to hit the stop button, but it was too little too late. Whoops.

Morgan had just been talking about how he was tired and was having a hard time doing other tasks before this, so I desperately tried to emphasize that part of things instead: "See? He's not getting enough NUTRIENTS and he's TIRED all the time, and has no ENERGY to do WORK and EXERCISE. That's what happens when you don't have enough NUTRIENTS! Think of the NUTRIENTS! The NUUUUUTRIENTS!"

I cringe at what the dinner table conversations would be that night. "So, Johnny, what did you learn in school today?"

"Gee, mom, I learned that if I eat McDonalds I won't be able to get it up."


Hopefully the next thing we did in the nutrition unit redeemed me... swiping the idea from another teacher who had done this a few years ago, I decided to show the kids what was really in a Big Mac Meal. It was thoroughly disgusting. They loved it.

Step One: Buy Big Mac, large fries, and a coke.

Step Two: Bring to school, making kids all drool, beg for a fry, ask me why I'm torturing them, etc. Set up meal on cart in front of class. Ask them to predict how much fat will be in the meal. (Yeah, kiddoes, it's NOT gonna be 95%. Sorry.)

Step Three: Dramatically tear up burger and place in blender with saucy bun, wilted lettuce bits, and congealed "meat" in plain view. Add fries for effect, and some coke to juice it up. Don't forget to squeeze out a few pack of ketchup into the mix. Try not to laugh as cries of "Eeeew!" and "That's disGUSTing!" and "Yum! Can I try some?" (there's one in every class!) erupt from students.

Step Four: Read blender settings. "Hmmm... which setting should I use? Blend? Chop? Puree? Whip? ... LIQUEFY!!!" Students will burst out chanting "Li-que-fy! Li-que-fy!" You will be amazed at how quickly burger liquefies. Try not to puke. Add remaining fries for visual effect and blend fully.

Step Five: Pass around blender for students to see and smell. When met with cries of disgust, simply say, "What? That's what it looks like in your stomach?" Laugh when student comments, "Yeah, but we don't have to SEE it when it's in our stomach!!!"

Step Six: Pour into pot and send students down to staff room to stir concoction until it is boiling. This process will separate the fat from the rest of the putrid brown goo.

Step Seven: Pour goo back into blender and let congeal at the back of the class for the rest of the day. Put in fridge overnight. The next day, examine mass quantities of fat globules that have formed throughout.

Step Eight: Never eat another Big Mac ever again. I tell you, the stench of that thing still lingers.

Who says learning can't be fun? .... er... and revolting?


nachtwache said...

Hm, we sort of got tired of McD's as we got older, maybe tastebuds mature? Moderation, my mom always stressed the 'golden middle road', a little junk is OK, not too much. If I thought about some things about food, I'd eat hardly anything.
That's a good lesson on what not to eat! I bet the boys will forever remember the ONE part:)

Anne said...

Could you have made it just a little bit grosser?

Fortunately, we decided a long time ago not to eat from McDs. A latte or ice cream here and there, but that's it. Yick.

Abbey said...

So the sex part of this story was HILARIOUS!!! And honestly, even if the viewing hadn't ended on that moment, you KNOW that's all they would have been talking about anyway. : ) Esp. the boys!! The girls will just say, "Grody!" and move on...

I can see the nastly, day old, burger fat as I write this comment. EWWWWW!!!! Gross. I try and avoid mcdonalds. It helps that the last time I had it (years ago) it was so not good that I haven't wanted to have one. GRODY!

Emily said...

Oooohh....what a great lesson! Kids need to be educated about foods early on!

Melissa said...

Once in a while (maybe once every 3-4 months, or when I'm driving long distances) I DO like a big mac. I really do. But this was really disgusting to read! Lol! Your comment about the smell is what really got to me.

Ever since I read this last night (it's taken me a whole day to recover enough to post!) I've been wondering if this might be a good thing for me to do the next time I want to diet... The key would be to substitute ANY kind of food that might be a temptation. With the right combination, I'm pretty sure a similar experiment could turn me away from almost any food of my choosing in the future!

Hillary said...

Oh, confession time... I DO enjoy a Mickey-D's meal every now and then, but yeah, this put me off for a looong time. Even as I write this comment, the picture of the globule-filled goo is right beside the comment box, and that turns me RIGHT off.


Melissa - that's a great idea! Except... chocolate and ice cream in a blender would just make me think, MMM! Blizzard!

Melissa said...

Not once you add fries ;)

Paul said...

Wow, that's great Hillary, I always wondered how they make the milkshakes.

Hillary said...

oh GAK!!!!!!

Amy said...

Every now and then we do eat McD's. We do. I know it's gross, but it happens. I did see SuperSize Me just a few months ago, and my own fifth grader watched it, too. We already knew how gross and disgusting fast food was, the show was actually a better reminder to us of how bad SCHOOL LUNCHES are. That put a whole kabosh on school lunches for the most part for us.

Hillary said...

Yeah... I'm not trying to guilt you guys about eating McDonalds. The very day I did this, I had McDonalds for breakfast *shame!*. Sometimes you do what you've gotta do. hehe. But for the kids, you show the extreme and hope they make one or two steps in the right direction. Or at least realize what they're eating. I ate that bacon and egg McMuffin fully cognizant of how bad it was for me and how horrible I would feel after.

Hmm... somehow that makes it seem worse! :P

sarah cool said...


Heading to go toss my cookies.