Fun Times in Grade 5

I haven't blogged too much about school/work lately, but we've been doing some really fun stuff! (At least, *I* think it's fun!) But here's a warning. If you're weak of stomach, you may want to skip this post!

A few weeks ago in Health and Personal Planning, we finished a nutrition unit where the kids logged everything they ate or drank for a week (supposedly), the compared that to the Canada Food Guide. We learned about nutrients, food groups, serving sizes, and how very, very bad fast food is for you. I showed the movie Super Size Me. I didn't have time to preview it, though 3 or 4 teachers assured me that, other than one or two "S-words" and him puking out the window of the car, it was totally fine. (I would really rather not have had the swearing, but the message of the movie was too good to not show it cause of that.)

Well.

They neglected to mention the part where his girlfriend is recounting the effect Morgan's all-Mickey-D's diet was having on their sex life. In rather graphic detail. Unfortunately we didn't have time to complete the entire video that day, so had to cut it short. Right after that part. Soooo, the kids went home with, "Yeah, he has a really hard time getting it up... I mean, the sex is still good, but it's not what it was... He's just too tired... I have to be on top all the time..." being the last thing they remember from the movie. Yes, I DID make a mad dash from the pack fo the class to hit the stop button, but it was too little too late. Whoops.

Morgan had just been talking about how he was tired and was having a hard time doing other tasks before this, so I desperately tried to emphasize that part of things instead: "See? He's not getting enough NUTRIENTS and he's TIRED all the time, and has no ENERGY to do WORK and EXERCISE. That's what happens when you don't have enough NUTRIENTS! Think of the NUTRIENTS! The NUUUUUTRIENTS!"

I cringe at what the dinner table conversations would be that night. "So, Johnny, what did you learn in school today?"

"Gee, mom, I learned that if I eat McDonalds I won't be able to get it up."

Soooper.

Hopefully the next thing we did in the nutrition unit redeemed me... swiping the idea from another teacher who had done this a few years ago, I decided to show the kids what was really in a Big Mac Meal. It was thoroughly disgusting. They loved it.

Step One: Buy Big Mac, large fries, and a coke.

Step Two: Bring to school, making kids all drool, beg for a fry, ask me why I'm torturing them, etc. Set up meal on cart in front of class. Ask them to predict how much fat will be in the meal. (Yeah, kiddoes, it's NOT gonna be 95%. Sorry.)

Step Three: Dramatically tear up burger and place in blender with saucy bun, wilted lettuce bits, and congealed "meat" in plain view. Add fries for effect, and some coke to juice it up. Don't forget to squeeze out a few pack of ketchup into the mix. Try not to laugh as cries of "Eeeew!" and "That's disGUSTing!" and "Yum! Can I try some?" (there's one in every class!) erupt from students.

Step Four: Read blender settings. "Hmmm... which setting should I use? Blend? Chop? Puree? Whip? ... LIQUEFY!!!" Students will burst out chanting "Li-que-fy! Li-que-fy!" You will be amazed at how quickly burger liquefies. Try not to puke. Add remaining fries for visual effect and blend fully.

Step Five: Pass around blender for students to see and smell. When met with cries of disgust, simply say, "What? That's what it looks like in your stomach?" Laugh when student comments, "Yeah, but we don't have to SEE it when it's in our stomach!!!"

Step Six: Pour into pot and send students down to staff room to stir concoction until it is boiling. This process will separate the fat from the rest of the putrid brown goo.

Step Seven: Pour goo back into blender and let congeal at the back of the class for the rest of the day. Put in fridge overnight. The next day, examine mass quantities of fat globules that have formed throughout.

Step Eight: Never eat another Big Mac ever again. I tell you, the stench of that thing still lingers.
N-A-S-T-Y.

Who says learning can't be fun? .... er... and revolting?