Today was terrible. I woke up and I felt like I had a giant fireball in my throat. I should have just called a sub like any sane person would do, but I wasn't ready for the day, and blah blah blah... So I somehow decided that going for a whole day of teaching MUSIC - you know, singing all day - would be a good plan with a throat that makes me wince when I swallow. Someone should have smacked me. I should know from experience that if I think I shouldn't go in and then do anyway, bad things happen. The last time I did that was when I had my car accident that totalled my car.
Well, today wasn't quite THAT bad, but it WAS one of those days when I was SO frustrated with the kids that I was jsut at a loss as to what to do. At one point I even walked over to one of the shelves, slammed my elbows down on it, and let my head fall into my hands. Not terribly professional, but YIKES. That was the calmest thing I could have done at that point.
The only thing that got me through the day was the chocolate fountain at lunch time. Chocolate. Fountain, people. Cascading chocolate you dip fruit and cake into. It's like a fondue but about a million times better. Oh fountain of sweet creamy goodness, where have you BEEN all my life? It was our once-every-two-months staff luncheon today and one of the teachers brought that peice of beautiful splendor for dessert. Mmmmm...
Uh, where was I? Sorry, I got a little sidetracked. :P
Oh yes... bratty kids... So yeah, the afternoon was worse than the morning, and in a perhaps knee-jerk reaction, I made my decision (you may recall all my agonizing over it here and here).
I am moving to the classroom next year. I want the grade five class.
I have been leaning that way for a while, and someone pointed out to me yesterday that there are two jobs available becuase one teacher is transferring to another school, and one is retiring. That being the case, obviously the teacher who is transferring is taking all his materials and everything with him, BUT the teacher who is retiring won't have need for all that stuff anymore, and may be willing to leave some (a lot?) of it for me. I also realized today that I have spent way too many days being frustrated this year - more days by far than I have spend enjoying my job. I don't want to feel like that anymore.
I think the combination of the grade I want, an available job, the possibility of being set up with a bunch of resources, and the crappy day today all factored into my decision. And I feel pretty good about it, actually. I've already been attending workshops with the possibility in mind of being in the classroom, and I'm starting to think through how I want to structure my class and what my expectations and goals are. I'm feeling more and more ok with it.
I told the retiring teacher today, so he's going to start keeping me in mind as he's going through his stuff. I haven't told my principal yet, but I think I'm going to suck it up and do it tomorrow. (So I can have a four day weekend now to start freaking out!) But I'm already starting to look forward to my own class next year. This is the right thing to do.
Now watch, all those kids that were annoying the heck out of me today? I bet they'll all be in my class next year.