Thursday, September 10, 2009

Stuck in the middle

*tap tap tap* ... hello? Is this thing on? Welcome to the deserted wasteland that is my blog these days!

Wow. Seems I've been running and running and running ever since I got off my plane. Family time, friends galore, unpacking, organizing, setting up my classroom, concerts, the Fair, more friends, more organizing, more unpacking, first days of school, curriculum planning, photocopying, dinner parties, church events, planning a rush trip to Ottawa in October, and this weekend I'm going camping (so instead of blogging I really should be doing a laundry, packing, cooking dinner, and getting some of the weekend jobs done tonight instead. Right.).

Word of advice for y'all... do NOT leave yourself a mere two and a half weeks between getting back from eight months in Kenya and starting a new school year. Ya know, should you ever find yourself in that situation.

But in it all, life is good. I might be wandering around in a semi-fog, but it's a good fog. It's a "holy cow, what life am I living?" kind of fog. The busyness and demands of all the "gotta do's" of teaching are definitely keeping me here by necessity, but my mind and my heart are still very much in Kenya. That's only in one little way reflected even here on my blog - I'm not finished telling the stories (won't you be confused when the post about my holiday to the coast in April shows up mid-October or something!), but then there is the "here-and-now" life, too. Classroom anecdotes, "re-entry" observations, summer events... I'm very much stuck in the middle.

For example, one of my jobs I've got to get done right away quick is to finish (ok, start) my final update letter that I've been emailing out to people over the duration of my trip. I'll be talking about the last two months in Korr, stories about teaching at Tirrim, about the goodbye and send off I got, and talking about how my ministry wrapped up there. Once that is finished, I'll head to the living room and set out all the little bits for putting together the "survival bags" I give my students at the end of the year, then finish off my math lesson plans for school tomorrow. Maybe it doesn't sound like much, but it blows. my. mind. Then, now. Here, there.

I feel such a need to write stuff down as I go, but am finding it hard to just sit down and collect my thoughts. And so I'm quiet, stuck in the middle of two worlds - one that's very far away but still also very much "here and now," and requires a long, slow 'perculating' process, and the other that's hit me like a freight train and requires me to run just about as fast, demanding nearly all my time and energy. And I don't seem to know how to talk about either! Sooooo.... I'll keep showing you videos!


anne said...

I hear you on the blogging wasteland. I still read too many a day, but never write on my own. Sheesh.

Not quite as busy as you, but I too feel at times as though my head is barely screwed on as I run from one thing to the next!

Canadi-Ann said...

Hey friend!

Ahhh...the beauty & tension of reverse culture shock. :)

What your going through is completely normal & will take awhile to process.

I think you made the right choice to remain a bit longer in Kenya, but my gentle suggestion is to carve out time in the next couple of weeks (months?) to process on your own, however that looks. Perhaps a silent retreat somewhere.

And of course, keep posting. ;)