Friday, February 03, 2006

My feet are freezing!

Also known as "How slip on shoes and by-law enforcement officers are a bad combo."

Today was the last day to apply for summer school (my source of income for the summer months), and, as usual, it was down to the wire. I had left it till the last second to fill out and drop off my application. I was hastily filling out my application form and wasn't sure if I'd be able to get it in before the office closed at 4pm. As I was running out the front door of my school, I realized I'd left the address for a staff social back in my room. AK! No time! I called over to another teacher who was walking to her car and she rummaged around... she found it and off I went.

24 minutes till the office closes.

Key in ignition, and ruh-ruh-ruh-ruh-ruh-ruuuuooooom. Uh, WHY is my NEW car having issues starting?!?! Oh yeah. The tank is empty. And I don't mean, oops, "I need to get gas soon" empty, I mean, "I reeeeally hope I can get it around the corner, let alone to a gas station cause I've been pushing the 'E' for two days now" empty. tick, tick tick... I decided against trying to push it all the way to the board office. Luckily I made it to a gas station. I pulled up, whipped out my card to pay at the pump, and ARG! I had picked the ONE pump out of ten that DIDN'T have pay-at-the-pump. Glug glug glug goes the gas. Great. There's a line up. I pay, and add a chocolate bar to my total. There's a reason I pay at the pump.

17 minutes to go.

Then I hit traffic. Broadway at 3:45 on a Friday. Brilliant. I kid you not when I say that I hit every single red light.

13 minutes to go. Uh. Slow drivers.
9 minutes to go. Dumb pedestrian! Hurry UP.
6 minutes to go. C'mon c'mon c'mon.
4 minutes to go. Sure, cut me off then turn left. It's ok. Go ahead. JACKASS.

I finally arrive at the board office. Parking is terrible in that area. TERRIBLE. All I'm doing is running in and out. The desk is right at the front door, no line up, nothing, just throw the application in a box. I pull up in front of a car parked at the last meter before a (very long) bus stop. The "no stopping" sign is at the middle of my car. On go the hazards and I bolt.

Now everybody knows that the shortest distance between two points is a straight line, yes? So it would make sense to cut across the lawn/park in front of the office and not take the sidewalk, right? Well. This is no ordinary lawn. Grass, when paired with about 50 days of rain in the last 55 days is no longer grass, but a big muddy yet deceptively green bog. As I was sprinting across the grass, my shoes started to sink in a little, then a lot, then suddenly my stocking-ed foot went SQUISH into the mud. I was running, so there was no time to stop before my OTHER stocking foot SQUISHED down into the mud as well. It took a few steps through mud so deep it covered the tops of my feet before I could stop. Now I had to go back and get my shoes.

Mud, would you believe, has amazing powers of suction. It took some very strong yanking to free my shoes from the ooey gooey mess they had ensnared themselves in.

Shoes in hand, I continued on to the office, tippie-toed into the front door so as to leave as little mud on the floor as possible, practically THREW my forms at the lady, breathlessly mentioning something about the shoe-eating mud outside, then ran back to my car, totally laughing to myself at the absurdity of what just happened.

Before I saw her, I heard a voice saying, "I don't know why you stopped here, I'm gonna have to give you a ticket." I looked up through my rain-soaked glasses to see a metermaid's bright yellow jacket standing in front of my car. She had WATCHED me run through the mud, yank out my shoes, and run back to my car in my SOCKS. The show wasn't long. I figure about a minute and a half. No bus had come. No car had to wait cause I was parked where I was. I was half in a parking zone, and had been gone less than two minutes. I showed her my shoes and my muddy jeans and socks. No dice. I now owe the city $40. Special.

I now had to go home and change before the party. Halfway home, I realized I had a chiropractor appointment that started three minutes before. It was back near the school board. Great. And I didn’t even have my phone handy to call, cause I threw my purse in the trunk along with my socks and shoes.

And now, I'm late for the party. But hey, I've vented, and hopefully you'll find this story as unbelievable (and rather comical, minus the parking ticket) as I do.

What kind of day have YOU had?


Jenn said...

ugh. okay, I think my day was just a little better... after all that, that summer school had better come through.

And happy belated birthday!

Jude said...

Happy belated Birthday!! Sorry I'm here via C.C. Hope it was a good one! :)

niki d said...

You write SO well, I'm sorry that it was such a rough day though. And I too wish you a Happy (belated) Birthday!!! If you want to add my blog to the friends of kawkawa section, go ahead...that'd be great! Thanks for all your work in honouring Kawkawa, it's AWESOME. :) ~nova~

Davey Jones said...


MargaretR said...

My day was not half as bad as yours, but from the minute I started reading your story it got better all the time. Belated happy birthday! Hope you get the job after all that.

Hillary said...

ha ha, it wasn't such a bad day. The ticket sucked, but the mud thing was hilarious! Gotta love this crazy life!