Spring Break!!!

Oh my goodness, I have been BUSTING to talk about this for nearly the entire two weeks I have been away....

I have finally nailed down my spring break plans, and I could not be more exited!!! No tropical vacation or trip to back to Paris for me (which I was looking in to until I remembered that I don't have a MONEY TREE in my backyard!!! I really need to rectify that.) Nope, I'm going to small town Iowa! Ah-WOO-HOO!

My very-bestest-friend-in-the-whole-wide-world (hi Rachelle!) and her hubby live there with their two boys, one who I have yet to meet! He'll be 5 months old when I go down to see him. I am SO looking forward to seeing them! I definitely miss seeing them all the time since they moved down there nearly two years ago... NO! Wait... THREE years ago. Wow. They used to live 8 blocks away from me. I miss them!!!

BUT, that's not all!!! I have met lots of very neat-o people through blogging. Three of those neat-o people are Sarah Cool, Anne, and Jean. Sarah lives in Cincinnati, and Anne and Jean live in Michigan (Ann Arbor? Grand Rapids? Somewhere in that area...) They are each such neat women, and I really enjoy reading their blogs and corresponding with them over email. I've chatted with Anne a bit on messenger, and Sarah and I talk on the phone sometimes, too. They have truly become friends, not just people whose blogs I read.

So, I figured it's about time I meet them!

After spending a few days in Iowa with Rachelle and Nathan, I'm taking the train up to Chicago and meeting up with Jean and Anne and Sarah for a total girl's weekend!!! We're booking a hotel, going to go see a show, and taking in the sights in Chicago!

I CAN NOT WAIT!!!!!

I've been telling friends that it's simultaneously the nerdiest yet coolest thing ever! It amazes me how small the world is getting!

So here I sit doing a little excited dance in my chair! I fly out in 18 days!!!

Here's Anne!_____Here's Jean!_____Here's Sarah!

Two weeks

Well, it's been an interesting two weeks. Thank you all for your comments, emails, phone calls, and visits. They have been such an encouragement to me. It always amazes me the care that comes out of the woodwork here in the blogosphere (and even more so in real life!). Thank you for those of you who have been praying for me.

I won't really get into a lot of what was going on with me (and still is, though things are getting better), but suffice it to say that I have been feeling more than a little overwhelmed with work and with a whole bunch of stuff coming at me in my personal life all at once, too. That, paired with just the blah-ness and monotony of February, it got a little much.

I've been up to not a whole lot of exciting stuff the last two weeks*... getting priorities re-established, learning a lot about myself, and trying to develop better habits. I've also learned that I have better friends than I even thought I had (and I already knew they were great!). Thanks especially to Trudy, Bex, Sarah, Brad, and Brian for your extra doses of listening, care, and prayers these past few weeks. A gal couldn't ask for better friends!

So I still have more work than I could possibly do, I'm still working on getting (and keeping!) my priorities straight, working on some character stuff, and I'm still trying to figure out what the heck to do about this lil' ol' heart of mine (in the metaphorical sense... my ACTUAL heart is healthy, as far as I know!).

Blogging will probably be fairly sparse for a while yet, but just thought I'd pop on and say hello. Yes, I'm still here!


* Well, that's not entirely true. I was away last weekend with 6 other friends. We rented a "cabin" (it was gigantic!) right on the water in Qualicum Beach on Vancouver Island and chilled out there for the weekend. It was glorious. Time spent with good friends, falling asleep and waking up to the sound of the waves, spectacular views, lots of good food and good wine, a few good soaks in the hot tub, long walks on the beach, a crazy dance party, and lots of laughs... I hadn't been that relaxed for a very very long time.

Sometimes you've got to just walk away

So that's what I'm doing.

I hit the breaking point today. I'm not ok.

But I will be. Hopefully sooner than later.

I'm taking some time to make sure I get back on track.
I don't know when I'll be back. Not for at least two weeks.

In the meantime, go snoop in my blogroll - see who I read, head over, enjoy!

This is me, over and out.

The Prayer of St. Francis

Lord, make me an instrument of your peace,
Where there is hatred, let me sow love;
where there is injury, pardon;
where there is doubt, faith;
where there is despair, hope;
where there is darkness, light;
where there is sadness, joy;

O Divine Master,
grant that I may not so much seek to be consoled as to console;
to be understood as to understand;
to be loved as to love.

For it is in giving that we receive;
it is in pardoning that we are pardoned;
and it is in dying that we are born to eternal life.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Emphasis mine

OK, OK, OK!!!

Wow. That little 'men's cologne' post sure generated a lot of interest in the comments! Also, when I got home, I had THREE messenger windows open with people asking about it, AND one voicemail. Hokey dinah.

I was going to leave it as an enigma, but I'm afraid of what some of you might do to me if I don't explain myself! haha!

So. Friday after school, I had to call one of my student's parents to just explain a comment I made to her in class about her assignment. Messages have been crossed before, so anytime this same issue comes up, I call the parents to explain the same thing to THEM so that we're clear. I believe it's called covering my a$$. I made my phone call and went back up to my classroom.

So where does the cologne come in, you ask? I noticed it while I was on the phone, but didn't really think anything of it, other than thinking, "Phew! That's STRONG!" But an HOUR later, up in my room and an entire floor and opposite end of the building later, I was still catching whiffs of the cologne on me. From using the telephone.

There's a teacher at my school who kinda bathes in it... though it's never overwhelming when you're talking to him, so I don't know what's up with that. But he's also always on the phone (during non-teaching times), and the phone in the nurse's room and the phone right outside his classroom pretty much permanently smells like his cologne.

So much so that *I* smelled like it an hour after using the same phone.

So there's the story. Sorry it's not juicy! hehe. Or is this just a cover-up...?
(HA! Yeah right)

A breath of fresh air

I went down to Stanley Park today to get down to the beach, to walk, to enjoy the sunshine, to take some pictures, to clear my head a bit. I realized I needed to allow myself the time to just relax and do something I enjoy doing. I need to do way less of what I usually do, which is fret about the work I have to do, and not really do the work and not really relax, either. More work. More play. Less fret. It's a recipe for a happier Hillary. I need to spend more time doing things that make me happy.


"Is it something that makes your life better?"

That's a question a friend asked me a while back, and it's become a really good measure by which to judge whether what I'm doing is worthwhile (not that I remember to use it, but hey, it's a process!).

So let's take a look at today, shall we? It was a beautiful day. Sunny and clear after many days of grey. And, sorry to all you socked-in-by-snow-and-freezing-your-tushies-off folks out there, but it was warm. (I even saw a few folks out in shorts, one guy in sandals! Crazy!) Despite all the downed trees, the park was still, well, Stanley Park. There's a reason it's called the jewel of Vancouver.

It was BUSY today, too. But with the business comes the kids, comes the families, comes the "Give me another underduck, daddy!" and the "Look mommy! A jellyfish!" and the run-skip-and-jumping and the kisses on the tops of toussled-haired heads.

I love watching families playing together.

I love being by the ocean.

I love taking out my camera and just shooting whatever.

I love looking at the incredible, glorious place that I live.

I love hearing God saying, "I love you."

Was it something that made my life better? Absolutely!

Strange but true

I smell like men's cologne.

That is all.

Four

... cause it's easier than seven, but more detailed than three. I snagged this one from Leesepea, pretty much one of the coolest teachers ever. Consider yourself tagged!

Four jobs I have had in my life:
1. Summer camp counsellor/activity instructor (canoeing, archery, etc. O yes. I've given a six year old a bow and arrow. Fready deaky.)
2. Labourer at a grain elevator (which, one shift, involved suiting up in paper coveralls and industrial air filter mask thingy, hunching over underneath a 4 foot tall platform and scraping out the four inched of rat crap - complete with dead rat - that had been piling up underneath for who konws how long. Cause you really wanted to know that.)
3. Before I had my teaching degree: substitute teacher, private school teacher, bartender/hostess, tutor, babysitter, all at the same time.
4. Maintenance worker at the Capilano Suspension Bridge. I chased Susan Sarandon and Tim Robbins around the park with a broom once. Oh yeah.

Four movies I would watch over and over:
1. Amelie
2. Zoolander
3. The Emporer's New Groove (noooo touchy!)
4. The Princess Bride. I really need to buy that movie.

Four places I have lived:
1. North Vancouver, BC
2. Vancouver, BC
3. Mackenzie, BC (a teeny tiny town located here - zoom in to see how out in the boonies it is, whose major attraction is the world's largest tree crusher)
4. Hope, BC (does 9 summers working at camp count?)


Four TV shows I love to watch:
1. Grey's Anatomy
2. King of Queens (mostly cause it's on at the time I'm usually home and crashing after work)
3. ummm...??? wow, I don't watch a lot of TV these days... My Name is Earl
4. um um um.... I really should start watching The Office (right, Sarah?)

Four places I have been on vacation:
1. Penticton, BC - we went there nearly every summer growing up
2. Europe! (um, so that's kinda broad: highlights - Paris and the Cinque Terre)
3. Iowa
4. Prince Edward Island and Nova Scotia

Four Favorite foods:
1. Thai red curry with chicken and vegetables -yummmm
2. Tortilla Pie with black beans. I should make it for you sometime.
3. Pretty much anything Mexican
4. "Recipe" (Nana's creation. Basically ground beef and gravy with peas, carrots, and corn over 'smashed potatoes.' It's a warm fuzzy memory from childhood. I haven't had Nana's 'recipe' in years. No-one else can make it the same way she does.)
5. Mangoes. Yes, I know that's 5. Mangoes MUST make the list. And Pineapple. Basically, I belong somewhere tropical.

It never ends - an after school tale *updated*

3:00 - Bell rings, students are dismissed

3:03 - I snag the seven kids who I have to talk to after school. I get one down to work - he owes me 15 minutes for wasted class time today.

3:05 - I explain the social studies assignment to the three kids who missed the explanation while they were in band, and the one student who was away all day at a First Nations conference.

3:12 - I determine why S, my extremely academically low and highly HIGHLY distractable student was asked to stay after school after their grammar class. She totally lost focus and did nothing all class. Huh. Quel surprise. She's been driving ME batty the last two weeks with fiddling with stuff in her desk, doodling, talking to her neighbour, and just generally not paying attention. Then when she goes to do her work? "I'm stuck." After school today, I begin by assuring her she's not in trouble with me (or else she'll totally shut down) and we ask what are some of the things that make her lose focus. We check in her desk and determine what things are a distraction and what aren't. We develop strategies and rules for her to help her stay focused. Pencil and eraser on the floor during lessons. Pencil crayons, scissors, pencil sharpener on the bookshelf by my desk for her to get when she needs them. Comic books and toys OUT of her desk. Hands are to be on top of desk at all times. Let's see how tomorrow goes.

3:26 - We finish up and I tell S, "OK, see you tomorrow!" She stands there staring at me. "Can I leave now?" "YES! haha, You're freeee!" I cringe inwardly. She doesn't realize I just said she could go.

3:29 - My friend arrives from her kindergarten class downstairs and we head out for a coffee, walk, and a long overdue hang out session. Mmm... chai latte. Even better was catching up with her. We're in the same building every day, and seem to have said no more than two sentences in a row with to each other for two months!

4:13 - Arrive back in my classroom. Check email, respond to a few, chill out for a few minutes.

4:30 - Make a step by step instruction page and worksheet to try to rescue my students from 2 digit by 2 digit multiplication hell. Photocopy it. Make overheads. Realize I've made a huge boo boo on the last page. Try not to rip all my hair out right then and there. Take apart packages, fix the master, recopy the last page.

5:47 - Make a list of what HAS to be done tonight. Marking for tomorrow. Shopping. Making a lab report page, complete with instructions for each station, observation tables, and follow-up questions.

5:54 - Plan the week's French lessons.

6:12 - Stealthily make my way down to the office. I am supposed to be gone by 6. Not gonna happen. Photocopy French vocabulary packages. Photocopy workbook pages.

6:26 - Head back upstairs to fill in day plan for tomorrow.

6:39 - Gather materials for science lab tomorrow.

6:52 - Write a few post-it notes for students telling them things they need to do right away tomorrow morning (cause I KNOW I'll forget!). Try to remember where the heck they sit. Leave the notes on their desks.

6:58 - Find custodian and tell him I'm leaving. An hour later than I'm supposed to be gone. AGAIN. Make a light comment about "yikes, I'm trying to be out by six, I swear!" Get chewed out by the king of rants. THE. KING. Once he gets on something, he doesn't stop. Ever. But, I can't complain much, cause he usually just lets me be.

7:04 - Get in my car and head to Home Depot.

7:18 - Arrive at Home Depot and wander the isles of the building supply section looking for items of varying surface texture. Find a few things and stop to mentally plan out my friction lab for tomorrow.

7:36 - Am snapped out of my daze by two customer service reps at the paint counter. "Can we help you?" Realize I've been staring absentmindedly into my cart for who knows how long, muttering to myself and counting on my fingers. "Oh! No, thanks. I'm planning a science lab for my students tomorrow. I was just thinking through some stuff. [in an over-enthusiastic voice:]We're learning about FRICTION!" As if they care. Kick myself for looking like a crazylady and sounding like such a dork.

7:48 - Go through checkout and realize I am SO. HUNGRY. No time to cook when I get home, so I apologize profusely to my body for what I'm about to do to it.

7:51 - Drive through the window at McDonalds. At least I got a side salad with my burger? And skipped the pop/sugarwater? But I did get a small fries, I am so weak!!!

8:03 - Arrive home and woof down my meal. The banana, bran buds, and yogurt I had for lunch just wasn't holding out. (Yes, I've succumbed to my school's bran insanity. They've sucked me in.) Check email, read some blogs while I'm eating.

8:19 - Begin this post.

It is now 9:04. I still have to mark a class set of story outlines, make the lab report, and... and... and... oh shoot, there was something else... [checks list] RIGHT. Stamps. Cripes. I've been forgetting those for almost a week now. There's no way I'm going out again tonight.

Mental note: roll up rubber-backed carpet for lab tomorrow. I have to pack a lunch, too, cause I have to work through lunch tomorrow to set up the lab.

Marking, here I come!

... if I don't collapse at my desk first.

*updated* - It's 11:28pm. I give up. No lab report yet. I suppose I can get up early... or make them write it out themselves. Now THAT'S a recipe for a gong show. Stupid story plans aren't finished either. A friend called shortly after posting, I talked to him for about half an hour, then decided my dishes really needed doing and my brain really needed a break from school stuff. Now here I am staring blankly at my pile'o'marking and my brain is rebelling. Or sleeping. My vote is with the latter. Methinks I'll make my body catch up with my brian.

*updated again* - 6:17am. *YAWN* OK. Lab report. Here we go.

*final update* - 7:56am. Lab report printing. Holy SMOKES, I've got to GO!

How to make your teacher misty-eyed

I knew they were planning something. Ten year-olds have a hard time containing their excitement, and still seem to believe that if a person can't SEE you, they can't hear you, either. All week I'd been hearing comments like, "Friday is going to be the best day ever!" quickly followed by "Shhh! Don't tell her that!!!" and "Miss Hillary, you're going to be so surprised!" again follwed by, "Shhhh!!!!" Yesterday at lunch, I was walking from my class to the staffroom and passed some of my students working at a table in the hallway. I was no more than six feet past them when I heard, "Oh my gosh, she jsut walked past!" "Do you think she saw?" "I can't believe she jsut walked by!" "We need to go hide this stuff!" I tried to keep my body rigid to mask the fully body shakes that surely would have accomapnied the laughter that was pouring out of me, albeit silently.

I figured they were making me a birthday card and might be drawing a happy birthday sign on the blackboard or something. Nothing could have prepared me for what I walked into today...

My plan was to arrive a little early and 'conveniently' leave the classroom door open and go do some prep elsewhere so the kids could do whatever. BUT, I slept a little late and had a few early phone calls from friends and family, so I didn't end up getting to school till about 20 minutes before the bell.

I didn't even have the car door closed when I heard one of my students calling to me from accross the street and in the playground, "Miss Hillary, I need help with my socials! I didn't get it."

Oh brother.

"Ok, M, let's let me get into the school first, ok? I'll meet you up in the classroom." Always on duty, apparently.

There must have been a memo or something, because EVERYONE knew it was my birthday today. I tell you, I couldn't round any corner without well wishes from students and staff alike. It was so sweet!

As I approached the stairs to my room, I heard whispers of, "Here comes Miss Hillary!" "Sh! She's COMING!" There were a few kids waiting outside my door, which was decorated with balloons and a great big sign wishing me happy birthday. Aw!

But that was nothing compared to what awaited me when I walked in. As I opened my door, I hear a voice from inside my room counting down.

3... 2... 1...

As I walked in, kids from both grade 5 classes came pouring out of the cloakroom yelling SURPRISE!!! The room was covered in balloons, streamers, and all kinds of twisty balloon animals and shapes. I was shocked! The kids were BUSTING with exitement, all rallying around me with birthday wishes and stories of how they had pulled this all together. Apparently while they've been in grammar thislast week with Mme M, one of the other grade 5 teachers, they'd been doing a crash course in party planning. There were about 20 kids who had been at school since SEVEN THIRTY in the morning setting up. That's over an hour before school starts. I was blown away.

Even M, who accosted me for help with socials, was in on it. "Miss Hillary, I was a decoy! I had to stall you! Didn't I do a good job???" Laughing, I told him, "Yes! You did! I was WONDERING what so so ipmortant that you couldn't even wait till I was out of my car! ;-) "

Wading through the kids, I got to my desk to see it piled with gifts and cards. I was quickly given strict instructions not to go down to the office. Oookay. I asked a group of girls if I could go to the staff room to put away my soup. I was granted permission, so long as they could follow me, "so you don't try any tricky business!"

So down the hallway I went, six ten and eleven year old girls in hot pursuit. "We like stalking people!" "Well you sure are good at it!" I decided that if they were going to follow me, they needed to do something silly. So off I went doing a goofy Hillary dance and then some good ol' disco moves. They fell into line perfectly!

After the bell rang, another staff member told me that the Vice wanted to talk to me, and don't worry, she'd watch my class. Uh huh. I tiptoed out, hamming it up. "Gee, I sure hope I'm not in touble!!!" said I to my kidlets.

No sooner had I gotten to the office than they told me that I was needed back in my classroom. Right. Up I go. I walked in to another countdown, and both entire grade 5 classes piled into my room (55 kids!), with sparklers and two cakes complete with candles. They all sang me happy birthday, and we posed for some photos.

As a thank you to my kids for planning such a great surprise, we had an impromptu class party. Cake, music, and games for the first 45 minutes of school!

I am so blessed to have such a great class, and an AMAZING teaching partner who loves to just give and give and give. Those kids may drive me bonkers sometimes, but I love 'em! This has got to be the best birthday I've had in a very long time! And it's not even over yet!!!

Happy Groundhog Day!!!

And happy birthday to me! Hee hee!

It's the only way we know how to rock

Guess what *I* did yesterday?

I got to talk to my bestest blogger buddy Sarah Cool for nearly an hour a-waaaaay over in Cincinnati! SO FUN!

One of the things I love about blogging is meeting all kinds of really awesome people. Radzilla (aka Sarah) is definitely one of them! She is most definitely the one who has introduced me to THE BEST WAY TO EXPRESS ENTHUSIASM OVER THE INTERNET EVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! She's also been a HUGE source of encouragement and fun, and has an amazing way of pointing me towards God.

Hehe, ok ok, enough mush. You can read her take on our conversation here. She totally stole my idea about laughing at out different accents (that's what happens when she's an hour ahead and starts work at a ridiculously early hour!), but hey, that's ok. I'll let it pass.... THIS time! ;)

And? Thanks for recognizing that Canadians don't say "aboot!" ;) Tee hee!

I won!!!!

Holy shneikie!!!! I just got a phone call from some organization that had a draw that I entered who knows when. It turns out that they drew my name and I won two Canucks tickets AND a 2-for-1 voucher for a Carnival Cruise. Now before getting all excited about it, I was like, ok, right, and what 2 hour time share presentation or $500 lifetime membership to a furniture "discount" store hoop do I have to jump through before MAYBE winning these tickets?

I asked all the skeptical questions I could think of, but, it turns out, there were none! I entered, they drew me, and I won! Thoughts immediately jumped to spring break cruises or what have you...

"I just need to ask you a few qualifying questions"

Oh great, here goes. No, wait, that's like one of those "skill testing questions" or something, right?

"Maam, this promotion is for couples... are you currently married or living common-law with someone?"

Dangit.

"Uhhh... no?"

"Ok, I'm sorry maam. Then you don't qualify. But I'll put your name back in the box for hte draw next week for blah blah blah..."

Crap. Tell me again, WHY didn't I jsut say yes? Oh right. Lying is bad. Phooey to that.

Dumb lady. Call me and get me all excited about my sweet prize, then take it away from me! How RUDE!

The world didn't end (hehe)

Thanks for your tips about blogger beta! I switched over (after being outsmarted once and for all, grrr! There wasn't going to be any worming my way around it this time, and believe me, I tried!). It doesn't look any different, I think, so that's good. Or bad. Maybe it's time for an overhaul. Though if I use the new "update your template easily" feature, I lose a lot of my own customization. Grrr. Oh well, not gonna deal with it today, I've got more important things to do.

Amusing song lyrics of the day:

Like a blind dog without a bone
I was a gypsy lost in the twilight zone
I hijacked a rainbow and crashed into a pot of gold

Bits and Pieces

Bloggger is getting sneaky. I went to sign in and they're trying to force me to switch over to the new beta-but-not-beta-anymore version. This scares me. Those of you who have done it, have you had any problems with custom stuff in your template and everything? What do you love? What do you hate? I WAS going to post some "Help! How do I NOT switch yet?!?!" comments, cause it looked like there was going to be no choice. But ah-HA! I wormed my way around switching this time. Bah. I don't like change, apparently....

... which leads me to my next point. It's becoming increasingly obvious that I need to get a hair cut, and stat (yeah yeah, "Shut up and DO it, Hillary," I know, I know. I have no regular hairdresser. This apparently is traumatic for me.). But I'm becoming a danger to people on the dance floor. I think some of the regulars that I dance with have adapted some of their moves to avoid getting whipped in the face with my pony tail when I spin around. I don't think that's a good sign!

And about the dancing. Yes, I've raved about it before, but I'm definitely hooked, and L-O-V-I-N-G it. So glad I went for level 3. We're learning all kinds of fancy shmancy stuff. This is evidenced by the names for the new moves, which are getting more and more complicated. Gosh, what was tonight... a neck wrap two hand cross bow side split double back half whip non fat extra shot or-ange mocha frapp-a-chi-noooo ... no, wait... that went wrong somewhere along the line... Who knows WHAT they're called, but they sure are fun! A few of us even went out to a real live dance LAST night, too! Hehe. It was kind of intimidating at first, but super fun! But my FEET hurt tonight, let me tell you.

So the rest of my week was much calmer, after Tuesday's near breakdown. This first year teaching (well, with my own class, anyway) is an interesting beast. It jumps up and tries to gobble me whole sometimes. I'm slowly but surely learning to beat it down. ah-HA! Take THAT! Anyway, thanks for all your kind words, it was much appreciated!

The day after my freakout I left work early and went for a walk along the beach, and took some time just to chill out, watch the sunset down at Kits Beach, and take some time to breathe. Venting, my time at the beach (there's just something about the ocean), and an encouraging conversation with a friend (thank you) definitely helped me get back to "ahhhhh" levels again.

The weekend has been fantasterriffic, too... a swanky launch party for a friend's website on Friday night (oh WAIT till I tell you about his site... SO cool!!!), tons of marking on Saturday, dancing, church, more marking, more dancing... oh yeah, baby! And, as much as I whine about having to prep for a sub, I'm taking my half day lieu day Monday afternoon, so I'm done tomorrow at noon. Gonna go back to the beach, go for a run in the sun, and settle in for some more marking, trying to dig myself out of the pit of behind-ness I seem to have gotten myself in.

*does a little happy dance*

Lookout! Here comes Monday...

Time for a chuckle

Occasionally I catch the medical sit-com show Scrubs. I had heard that they were gonig to a musical episode a while back, but didn't end up catching it. Christine over at Welcome to My Brain posted this little gem, and now I SO wish I saw the whole episode. This was hilarious!

Stress

- Never, EVER coming even CLOSE to finishing all the stuff I've got to do for work
- Being reminded yesterday that I'm this month's union rep and I have to go to the meeting today immediately after school, when I already had plans for tonight and that will just put me yet one more step further behind (see #1)
- Remembering that as part of being union rep I get a half day off in lieu of union duties, but that means actually prepping for a sub, which will take nearly as long as just teaching anyway
- Being hungry and out of groceries again, and deciding to just not eat dinner cause that's easier, and knowing that that is NOT a healthy thing but being too tired to even care at this point
- Totally forgetting about a commitment I made to two friends to do something, and kicking myself for forgetting, cause what I was supposed to do wasn't even for their benefit, but mine, and probably would have alleviated some of the stress I'm b!tching about here
- Having students in my class that won't/don't/can't pay attention, so don't understand, so get frustrated, and start crying, and I totally want to help them, but what else am I supposed to do if they don't pay attention and won't stay in for help and shut down when I tell them about something they need to correct, and if their parents won't get them tested so they can get more support and if I have 26 other kids who also need my attention ......
- Seeing all these kids in my class and knowing they deserve SO much more than I'm able to give them right now
- Having a growing list of things that really need to be dealt with. Like the water that is still leaking into my trunk from who knows where and seriously, seriously needing to go buy new pants
- Knowing I should probably be sleeping right now instead of writing this, but knowing that I won't be able to sleep till I get this all out (lucky you)

Good thing tomorrow's another day. This one almost killed me.

Goodnight

Another "you people" post

You people ROCK!!!

I begged and pleaded and twisted a few arms for de-lurking week, and you delivered! Not inlcuding my own, you left a fantastical number of comments over the seven days. Ah-woo-hoo! I even fanangled a few of you to comment for the first time (YAY! Welcome!!!). Hope I didn't leave any bruises! *grin*

A Breath

Stop
and take a breath with me
let the going cease
the stillness seep in

Drop
the bags of busyness
come lets do more of less
with you I want to be

Oh, if you would take the time
to hear my heartbeat's rhyme
how together we could sing

You have got to make the choice
will I hear more of your voice
will you hear my melodies

Pains
how you come and go
effects which you don’t know
if you knew you’d change your beat

Oh! If you would take the time
to me your heart incline
find life that’s full and breathes

With you I want to be
with you I want to be

Words and music by Vania Levans.
Listen to the whole song here or here
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I went to see another show of my friend Vania's last night, and, now having heard the album a few (dozen) times, there was a different song that struck me last night. Before she sang "A Breath" she told the audience that it was a song she wrote after reflecting on how God feels about us - as if He were singing the song. With that in mind, I listened closely to the words. Really. Go back and re-read it. Or better yet, listen to it. Rarely does a song hit me so squarely between the eyes and awaken something so deep in my heart. I really felt like I heard God's invitation last night...

My life seems so busy all the time. I often feel rushed or choked or suffocated from what I really want to do - to stop and take a breath with God. But the kicker is that I create all that flurry of activity myself. Even this term, where I have deliberately let go of all weekly commitments, still I fill my time with... stuff. Meaningless puttering - some emailing here, some guitar playing there, some chatting with friends, some dishes, some cooking, some reading, some TV, some... some... some... None of these are bad in and of themselves, but time flies by and another day is gone, and another, and then a week, and then a month, and I find myself tired and gasping for air, yet again. I need to learn how to let the stillness seep in. Why is that always such a hard thing to learn to do?

I keep saying I want to hear God's voice, but I never allow myself to be still enough to hear it. Why? Here God is inviting me - HE wants to be with ME. How can I ignore such an invitation?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Oh! If you would take the time
to me your heart incline
find life that’s full and breathes
With you I want to be.

You people search for WEIRD things

Well, ok, not YOU people. YOU people all search for normal, understandable things. But SOME people...

All of the phrases below are things people have searched for in the last little while that have landed them on my blog. I'm just including them here cause I think they're funny/interesting/disturbing. Some, yeah, I could see how they got that.Others... yeah, I have NO IDEA. This list is of course void of all the bajillions of versions of my blog's title that people search for (it's a line in a song, so it comes up a lot). Though "tragic love" is often searched for, and they land here. I'm really hopnig that's not indicative of something!!! Anyway, here be the list (with my own commentairies in brackets). Oh, and the weird characters? Those are my doing. I really don't need MORE people finding my site that way.

1. does rachelle love brad [no, I'm pretty sure she loves Nathan]
2. volleyball in the snow [um... noooo... I never made kids play volleyball in the snow]
3. sometimes i just sit and think, sometime i just sit [it's true!]
4. redneck gingerbread trailer [Jon's trailer is so famous even people from the eastern states have been looknig for it. Different people, and multiple times.]
5. quick change dance magic show [Quick change dance magic. That's the kind of dance I'm going to take next. It's very tricky. Too bad it's so quick, you miss all the tricks. And the magic.]
6. chinese @dult entert@inment [sorry buddy, you're not going to find what you're looking for here! Ew!]
7. hillary and candy ho down [who told them about my gingerbread party???]
8. homemade jube jubes [Where? I want some!]
9.. lumpy_goat [uhhhh... AND, this came up LONG before my comment to SarahCool about baby goats. (if you click on one link in this list, click on this one!)]
10. hello hillary crazy [yeah yeah. We get it already]
11. videos of couples m@king l0ve in public [ummm... again, not gonna find what you're looking for, buddy. Double ew.]
12. the famous dingle dangle man dilema [Ah yes. What girl DOESN'T have these? Perhaps that's why they're famous. Though I didn't know the dilemma dingled and dangled.]
13. felted umbilical cord hats [um, ew?]
14. homepage von crazy class [That's SO what I'm going to title my class' webpage if I ever do one]


So folks, keep on keepin' on with google... it provides me with some good chuckles.

Back from the dead

Whew. Today was my first day at work this week.

Coming back is always a little scary, especially after more than one day away. My kids had had three different teachers in three days. It's pretty disruptive to the kids' routine to have so many different people in, and they're usually pretty wingy when I get back. To make matters worse, the teacher on Tuesday never got my lesson plan due to an email mix up. Whoops. (Sure glad I spent three hours writing the day plan for that day! Gah! At least I was able to use part of it for the next day.) I felt terrible for my TOC (teacher on call)! It's always so hard if there's nothing left for you. And there was NOTHING. I don't think I even had written what subjects were supposed to happen in what block apart from the plan that never arrived.

So I was wondering what on earth I would be coming back to today. Who knows what got done, what didn't, and how much I'd have to re-teach, repair and reprimand.

I got in, though, and found - delight of all delights! - I had three wonderful TOCs who actually taught lessons, prepared for the next day before they left, and seemed to really have their stuff together. WOOHOO! (I've had many instances of the contrary) I was most impressed with the TOC from Tuesday, cause she - with nothing from me - put together a day almost exactly as I would have done it. She even managed to nail the PAGE in the socials textbook and the two concepts that I wanted covered that day! Go her! I emailed her this morning to tell her what happened with the plan and to apologize, and to tell her what a great job she did! Yay!

One thing I discovered, though? The Pee Nazi needs to make a triumphant return. ALL THREE TOCs mentionned in their notes to me that my kids were asking excessively to go to the washroom. I always read the 'student behaviour' bits to my class after I come back from being away, and, while they got a kick out of hearing the same message three times, they also got a big ol pee lecture from me today, complete with me assuring them that no, they will not make a puddle if they had to hold it for an hour and a half. "You go before school. You go at recess. You go at lunch. You do not go in class time. You will not leak. I promise." Oh it was a comedy fest, allright (remember, these are 10 year olds, and the mere HINT of anything bathroom related sends them into hysterics!), but these tiny-bladdered time wasters will find out very quickly that I mean it.

NO PEE FOR YOU!!!

Touchingly sweet...

... and sweetly true

Thanks, Andrea, for pointing this one out.

And wow, this is my 400th post!

Hair!

I was going to save this post for tomorrow to avoid accusations of blog addiction (3 posts in one day? come on!), but y'all are commenting on my desire to change my hair anyway, so here ya go...

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I mentioned in my last post that it's time for a haircut and I'm thinking about a change. I also mentioned that I always say that, and I always end up getting the same thing. Well, we'll see this time around. BUT, it DID give me an idea. Surely there are some 'try out some new hairstyles' websites out there. A quick google search and I found one. Which gave me some entertainment this afternoon between naps.

I came up with 12 possible hairstyles, all representing a range of length and bangs/no bangs. Some are better/worse than others, for sure. Sooo... ignore the bad computer colours (I wouldn't colour my hair the same way as the pictures) and the not-so-perfect fit of hairstyle to head, but take a look!

Which do you like best? Which would you steer clear of? Guys - don't be afraid to comment, either, this isn't just for girls, haha! What do you think? Bangs? No bangs? Long layers? Short? Medium? Long? Staight? Curly?

Oh, and there are two versions of each style - one with glasses, one without. Call me crazy, but sometimes I feel like certain styles just look better/worse depending on whether or not I'm wearing glasses (which I wear about 80% of the time). Here's the cut I got last time, just for comparison sake.

And yes, I am aware that this looks more than a little ridiculous, espcially with cartoon hair on a real head - I'm doing this as half joke, half real (maybe even 70/30), so go for the idea and laugh WITH me (not at me!)! ;)


Click for a larger view

Wow. That's WAY too many Hillarys in one place. :P

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I have decided

1. I'm going to talk to my (awesome!) landlords about the dumb furnace. It WAILS when it starts up. Loudly. And I'm not one to complain about noise or light when I sleep. I can pretty much sleep through anything. But the furnace? It wakes me up. Of course, it only happens when it's really cold, and we're just about done with this cold snap, so maybe I'll just let it go...

2. I'm going to do level 3 of dancing lessons. There are four levels, but unless you intend on competing or go dancing all the time, you just stay in level 3. There are people who have been doing level 3 for years, so I'm told. Which kind of scares me. Our instructor referred to it as "the big pond." Eep! :) I may take a private lesson to get a few things really solid before level 3 starts on Sunday.

3. I want to learn Italian. I read my phrase book almost daily, and last night I had this dream (yes, I did eventually fall asleep, but not till about 4:30am!) where I was in Italy (back in the Cinque Terre - photos - swoon!) and carrying on this full on conversation in Italian. I know I was using some real Italian words - I picked up a teensy tiny bit this summer - but the rest? Who knows WHAT I was actually speaking, but boy did it sound like Italian! hehe. I think I'm going to sign up for a class next term (starting in March). Hmm... maybe then I'll have an even better excuse to go back to Italy sooner!

4. I need to get my hair cut, and I want a CHANGE. Of course, I always say that, and I always get it just the same, but shorter. But I'm thinking, bangs? Layers? New colour? Highlights? Maybe I'll go for a buzzcut! hehe. I want Nick Arrojo from What Not To Wear to cut my hair. He just says, ok, this is what will look good based on your face/style/personality/commitment to a morning hair regime (which, for me, by the way, is extremely minimal. Funny story about that, actually, I'll have to tell you another time). I don't even have a regular hair dresser. Arg. What do YOU think I should do?

5. I need to go for a massage. They're covered under my benefits, why on EARTH have I not been going?!?! Being sick has left me really stiff, plus, massages are just the right thing to do. (I should probably start going back to my chiro, too)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Who needs sleep?

Well you're never gonna get it
Who needs sleep?
Tell me what's that for?


WAAAHHH! My sleeper is broken!!!

I've been flat on my back sick for the last three days, and pretty much all I've done is sleep (with the odd dragging of my sorry butt out of bed to check email/blogs or watch tv, but upright time has been limited). So now, I find it 3am, and I CAN'T SLEEP! Not even drugs are helping me now. Arg.

And I'm blogging about it, why? I dunno. I'm wide awake and I'm B-O-R-E-D.
I think I'll go back and stare at my ceiling some more.

National De-lurking Week *updated*

Well, ok, so it's only de-lurking week in my little world, but that outta be enough, right? It's not the first time this has happened - remember NaBloPoMo? I'm apparently really slow on the uptake on all these blogoshpere events (the real one was last week). It's kinda like that geeky kid getting in way too late on all the coolest fads. "Hey guys! Pick me! Pick meee! I've got teased bangs and flourescent bike shorts now! See? I'm cool! ... Right?" ... ahem... a hypothetical situation, of course...

So, what's de-lurking, you ask? It means that for this week, instead of just reading, you post a little hello or other comment in the comment section. Now, don't get me wrong, I don't mind lurkers. You are jsut as welcome here as commenters. I know that not everybody has something to add to the conversation all the time. But there are waaay more hits on my statcounter than there are comments, and I'm curious as to who y'all are, so for this week, speak up! I promise posts (yay! now your lives are complete! buah ha) if you promise comments! It could be a hello, it could be a draft of your thesis on the mating habits of earthworms, whatever! (um, though maybe not so much the earthworms?)

And, by the way, if you are someone who does comment here, thank you so much (and keep 'em coming!)!!! You're the bestest! It's really the comments that make things fun around here. I've met lots of neat-o folks through it!

And to make matters easy for ya, I'll give you a question to answer. Since it is now snowing AGAIN (what, storm number 15 this season?) I'll ask you this: do you like winter/snow or hate it?

Your comments make me happy, so comment away!

Update: I've replied to all the comments so far, so check'er out :)

Support the troops, Canadian Style

I had to laugh at this one. Only in Canada...

There is a group of people in White Rock who are showing their support for the Canadian troops in Afghanistan. They have packed up a number of care packages to send over with items that the soldiers are lacking: toothbrushes, deodorant, toilet paper, etc.

And?

Gift cards for the Tim Hortons they have there on the base!!!

Canada's favourite donut shop has an outlet on the military base in Afghanistan. Support the troops! Send gift cards for a honey crueller or a double double!

So true

Welcome to my life.

(Poster from here.)

Charcoal Drawings

I will put away my charcoal drawings
Sketches of my hopes now turned to gray
I will put away my charcoal drawings
Tomorrow could be a brighter day

Such an uncanny way to have to etch a picture
What I dreamed is not the art I look at now
My interactions with the drab life’s drawings
Have left me feeling somewhat out

So I will put away these charcoal drawings
Sketches that have become today’s dismay
I will lay these down to rest,
Seek arms that give me strength
Strength to face another day

No more gazing at these disappointing smudges
I rest frustrations with artistic skills I lacked
I will lay my pencils down for now
The sun sets and I know somehow
That tomorrow could be a brighter day
Tomorrow could be a brighter day.


Words and music by Vania Levans.
Listen to a clip here

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Last night I went to my friend Vania's CD release party. According to her website, her music is "a combination of jazz and soul, with a touch of funk here and there." It was there that I realized that I need to seek out independent artists far more often. She was phenominal. Phe-no-min-al. I knew that she was talented musically, as she often sings and rocks out on her flute (no, I didn't think that was possible either. It is.) on the worship team at my church, but I had no idea she was this good. :-)

"Charcoal Drawings" was a song that particularly struck a chord with me (really, go listen to it! "Keep on" is also hers). I think it's time for me to make some changes. To stop doing things the way I've always done them, cause that way doesn't seem to be getting me where I'd like to go. I don't know what to do differently, in particular, but perhaps it will come...

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

No more gazing at these disappointing smudges
I rest frustrations with artistic skills I lacked
I will lay my pencils down for now
The sun sets and I know somehow
That tomorrow could be a brighter day.

Mo-ti-va-tion...

As in, apparently this week I've had none. I've written so many blog posts in my mind, but I've always been away from my computer at the time and have jsut not been motivated enough to write.

No New Years priorities posts, no "I love the snow look how happy it makes me" posts, no "the kids did the funniest thing today" posts, no "holy crapoly, I almost missed the deadline for applying to teach summer school" posts... all of which would have been fun (heh, to write, anyway...).

Blog boredom. I suppose that's where it's at right now.

Teaching this week has been fun - actually FUN! I've been doing accents (heaven help me) and litterally jumping around, waving my arms, and declaring a "13" in the tens place to be, "AK! An INTRUDER!!!" It's probably been the best week I've had all year. Hmm... could that be because I've just come from two weeks off? Maybe that should be a pattern. Teach for 2, rest for two. Think of how energetic I would be!

Hum. What else. Trying to decide to do dancing level 3 or a different pursuit this time around. Perhaps photography. Perhaps writing. Perhaps ACTING! Maybe guitar. It's a real toss-up, between dancing or something else. Confusion abounds. If you could take a class, what would you take?

With all this snow and oice these days, I've been donig a wee bit of slip slip sliding around to and from work. Driving home yesterday I discovered my car is really good at road ballet. Some doofus in his doofus-mobile on a sidestreet decided it would be a really good idea to try to dart accross a busy street during a heavy snowfall on roads that were totally iced over. Eastbound traffic was stopped, so he whipped through a break but DUH... westbound traffic (ie. ME) was still moving, and all of a sudden there was the front of his car barrelling towards what was very soon going to be my driver's side door. I honked, tried to brake, slid almost sideways, recovered, and somehow he missed me, jsut in time for me to start sliding down the hill that was ahead of me. I geared down, steered straight, and got control back, all without hitting the multitude of cars around me, but sheesh. That commute was insane. It took 61 minutes to make my 7km (4.5 mile) trip home. I could have ridden a turtle and gotten there faster.

That's it. I'm ending there. No concluding sentence. We've been learning about those all week in TeacherHillaryLand. As in, "every paragraph must have one." I'm such a hippocrite. Deal with it. ;)

We're baaaa-aaack!

Ah yes. School's in again. Who made the day so freaking long, anyway???? It was pretty funny to see all the satff back and bleary-eyed, trying to get used to the early morning routine again. I do believe I saw one or two intravenous stands with a steady caffiene drip, but I can't be sure. And wow, I don't remember my feet hurting this much at the end of the day.

It was good to be back. Well, once I actually got there, anyway. I had a near paralysing freak-out when I realized as I was getting up at 6:30 this morning that almost all the stuff I had planned to over the holiday was not done. "Maybe if I just stay in bed, it will all go away!!!" But really, it's a holiday. So I don't feel TOO guilty. I just have to kick it into overdrive this week (and next, and next...).

You know what? I actually missed my kiddies! They're so fun and silly and so full of excitement. They totally make me laugh. I think they were pretty happy to be back, too, not that many of them would actually admit it!

Though is it bad that before Christmas break was even over, I was already counting down to spring break??? (10 weeks!)

Apparently I'm going for the insane-o of the week award

So.

Level 2 of my west coast swing dancing class is almost finished. Near the end of level 1, I posted a few videos of some pro swing dancers in action. Well this time round I've found a series on YouTube called Move of the Week, where they teach you a new West Coast Swing move, you got it, every week. (They're all just 30 second clips, and be sure your sound is on)

For example, there's this one.



Looks kinda tricky, but pretty sleek if you can master it.

But then there are these. It's like swing dancing on drugs. Or at least really really drunk. The first one is called the Turtle.



Oh but it gets better. Here's Eggroll Swimming.


And the piece de resistance in classy sleek smooth sexy west coast swing dancing is here.


This makes me laugh out loud EVERY. SINGLE. TIME. And? Did anybody think it was really weird that that brontasaurus has six toes? Do brontasauruses (brontasauri?) even HAVE toes???

GREAT NEWS!!!!!

OH MY GOODNESS! You will NOT believe it. An incredible event occurred tonight, one never before seen by human eyes (erm, or by any type of eyes). An event not previously thought possible. A spectaular feat of co-ordination and dexterity, with no resulting disatrous effects. The crowds were shocked. The crowds were awed. The crowds didn't know what hit them. Well, nothing hit them, actually, which wouldn't have been the case previously. It truly was a glorious, heavenly event. Mm, I do believe I heard angels rejoicing. So what was this incredible feat worthy of such an introduction, you ask?

I, Hillary, ate an entire meal with chopsticks and didn't have to guiltily and apologetically ask for a fork even once!!!

Take THAT, friend who gave me "cheater chopsticks" for Christmas, which were glued to either side of a spring loaded clothespeg.

Oh yeah, baby.

Oh.

Yeah.

Maybe this should be my New Year's Resolution...

Catchin' up (part deux) - New Years

As usual, I had left my planning till rather late in the game. But still, my friends came through. I ended up having five friends over, plus myself, for a quiet evening of nibbles, drinks, and scategories. OK, I love that game. I haven't played for a long time, but it was fun! (Right guys? It was fun! Right??? Hee hee.)

Best entry? For "Things in a park" that started with G, my friend Brad wrote "geriatric gentlemen." DANG! Double points for alliteration... AND awesomeness!!

Some of you have been asking about my New Year's prediction. Well, here's how it all went...

We counted down to midnight, then a hurredly passed out all manner of loud things - a gourd shaker intrument thingy, metal mixing bowls, pots and pot lids, and various ladels and wooden spoons. I took out my djembe drum. At midnight we all busted out of my door, a cacophany of clanging and shouting and banging and general hilarity. There was no co-ersion necessary. My friends (who are AWESOME, thankyouverymuch) were unstoppable. And by unstoppable, I mean that, as soon as we exploded out of my door, I remembered the four children all under the age of three who were no doubt sound asleep no more than 20 feet from the clangingbangingscreaming rowdieness that was our celebration. So down the walk between the two houses I ran, after my friends, whisper-yelling, "Guys! Babieees! BABIEEEES!!!!" But alas, it was no use. I was pretty much laughing too hard to be taken seriously, and the group was already halfway down the street running and banging and yelling HAPPY NEW YEAR!!! into the night. I think we scared a passing bus driver. Buah ha! It was great! And, despite my friend Brian's best efforts to make it happen, no men in white suits came to take me away! (Nyah nyah!)


And THEN... I learned a new method of opening champagne bottles, as we made our way out into my back alley for a New Year's toast. Why the back alley, you ask? Oh, becasue this champagne-bottle-opening method involved SLICING OFF THE TOP OF THE BOTTLE WITH ONE BIG SWACK OF A GIANT KNIFE. Not just the cork, people. The top of the entire bottle. It's supposed to be done with a sword, but a big-a$$ knife was all the guys had, so we did it with that. (Someone asked me afterward if I wasn't worried about little chunks of broken glass in my champagne. Hum. I hadn't really thought of that... I'm gonna go with believing that the force of the knife makes a clean, shatterless break. Yeah. That's it.)

So we toasted in the back alley, under the glow of someone's backyard New Years fireworks. It was a perfect way to ring in 2007!

"Paper Boy" update

This is a follow up from this post.

Just before Christmas, my brother, who is working in Stanley Park cleaning up all the downed trees after a mega windstorm a few weeks ago, was talking to one of the swarms of media in the park about the destruction that the windsrotm caused. The guy told my brother that he was waiting for someone to walk by so he could take a shot, but nobody had come along, and would he like to be in a shot. My bother jsut shrugged his shoulders and was like, eh, sure. So the guy snapped the picture and then Brendan asked, "So, who are you with, anyway?" He thought it was pretty cool that he was from the Globe and Mail, so decided to pick up a copy of the paper the next day and thumb through to see if he could find his picture. Turns out it was on the FRONT PAGE!

CeCe suggested I blow up the photo and give it to him for Christmas. BRILLIANT! Now I was just going to get a copy of the paper and cut out the picture and frame it, but it turns out my pernts had a similar idea. My mom did some detective work online for me (during my internet-less stint) and found the photographer's email address. She emailed him and asked if it was possible to buy a copy of the photo. "I know you can't see his face, but still, that's my boy!" Hehe. Moms. Anyway, the photographer emailed her back right away and said that yeah, he had remembered talking to my brother, and it was Christmas, so he just attatched the photo. Within about two hours of my mom emailing the photographer, a blown up print was ready and waiting for me at the developers. Score!

I'm going to have the print custom framed for him, perhaps with the Globe and Mail header on top. It totally went over well, yippee! Thanks, CeCe for the awesome idea! And she was totally right. My brother said that he SO would never have thought of doing that for himself.

Here he is with his photo. (Click for a larger view)

Catchin' up (part 1)

Christmas was great, but over far too quickly, as usual. Six weeks of lead-up and then poof! It's over. But it was still good. I went to my parents place on Christmas eve and finally felt I could relax. We went to the Christmas Eve service at my parents church, which was in the gym of my old high school. It's always so strange to be back there. Though, kind of a sad thing, over the whole evening I kept thinking about Buff, who was a special ed aide and coach extraordinaire at my high school, and the crossing guard at my elementary school before that. The last time I saw him was at last year's Christmas Eve service. He comitted suicide a few months ago - he jumped off a bridge - and I just can't seem to shake a really sad feeling about it. I barely knew him, but he was such a warm hearted, loving guy - a real presence in the community, too - just someone you always expect to see around. Like at the Christmas Eve service.

Anyway, after the service we went back home and took part in our regular family traditions, like leaving out a snack for Santa. Yes, we still do that. And in the morning, Santa had come and had left a mess, as usual. I love it!

My favourite Christmas tradition in my family has to be the anual reading of the letter from Santa. How that man gets to every house AND has time to sit down at the computer and write a big long heartfelt letter to our family, I have no idea. But well, he seems to manage. (tee hee)

Every year, my dad reads the letter, a section devoted to each of us, telling us how proud he is (he... do I mean dad? Santa? We never can tell!) of us, talking about what we've been up to in the year, and reminding us that he (again, was that dad or Santa???) is praying for us and loves us very very much. My dad is pretty much the biggest softie in the world and I love him for it.

Gifts were exchanged, turkey was eaten, and fun was had by all. My favourite gifts would have to be a sweet ski/boarding jacket from my brother, a day on the mountain with my sister, and a camp stove and gift certificate for outdoor gear from my parents. Yeehaw!

It was nice to just chill out at my parents for a few days, too. Kind of like my own little mini vacation.

I honestly haven't been doing too much over the holiday. I've spent some time with friends, cleaned out some black holes in my house (yesss!) and spent a lot of time sleeping! Um, I decided to spend all of New Years day in bed. It was glorious! I lounged, and read, and slept, and didn't feel one ounce of guilt. Not-a-one.

Ah yes, which leads me to New Years. Well, past, actually, but well, you get the drift. :) But you're just gonna have to wait till tomorrow for that story...

FINALLY!

Da da-da daaaaa! Back online, baby! I know that's exciting to no-one but me, but, well, there you have it.

I'm here (kinda)

I'm still getting acquainted with ye ole library computing system. Arg. Though today I learned that I can book the first available computer and not have to wait an hour or peer over people's shoulders to see how much time is remaining on their login time before I choose the computer to line up behind. Woohoo my life is so exciting.

I honestly don't know what the HECK is taking SO LONG for this dude to fix my machine. Though, I suppose it's been good to not have the computer as a distraction while I've been on holidays. I have gotten a lot done - a big overhaul in my house, cleaned out my storage room, and now I'm working on getting caught up on all the marking I was so behind on before Christmas. It's been good, too, cause I've had lots of time to think and work through some personal stuff that I needed to work though. Perhaps God knew I needed to be computerless for a while? Hmmm....

Though I HAVE missed ye ole typical year-in-review blog post type thingamabobs, and the requisite declaration of all that will be new and shiny in 2007. Or something like that. Sitting and writing that out takes some thought, and it's not exactly what I wanna be doing at the public library (with all those people peering over my shoulder to see how much time is remaining on my login time before they choose the computer to line up behind!!).

I've missed reading all your blogeroonies. I basically just check email and a little bit more while I'm at ye ole public access workstation. I'll have some serious catching up to do once I get my machine back.

Apparently I have some obsession with old English type writing today. I've said "ye ole" thrice (THRICE!) without even noticing it. Huh.

Thanks for all your New Years wishes! I've been wishing them right back at you, if only in spirit!

Tootlieoodles for now! Hope to be back soon!

New Years predictions...

I predict that at midnight on New Years eve...

Hillary will overenthusiastically hustle her guests out onto the street and shove various noisemakers in their hands yelling, "Come on! Come on! It's midnight! Make some noise!" at which point a few guests will half-heartedly take a few swacks at their respective noisemakers just to get Hillary off their back and then she will run around the block like a madwoman banging her drum/pot/shaker thingy, trying to evade the men in white suits who are coming to take her away, heehee hoohoo hawhaw.

It will be a sight not to be missed.

MOTHERBOARD!

As in, it's dead.

Which is why my computer went to sleep and didn't wake up last Friday. Which is why it's in the shop and probably will be till this Friday or maybe even Saturday (what will I dooooooo???). Which is why I'm standing here in the library making other people think I'm crazy as I guffaw at emails sent to me (thanks a lot SARAH! hee hee!). Which is why I've come to the relaization that HOLY SMOKES, am I addicted to do I rely a LOT on my computer!

I have all these posts in my head that I haven't ben able to write... hanging paper snowflakes on the last day of school... Chrsitmas morning stories... a fun surprise announcemnt... just general shenanigans... but nooo... time's tick tick ticking away here at ye ol public library and I've gotta go!

Hopefully I'll be back soon with a bright shiny new motherboard and a (finally!) properly working computer. Woohoo!

Merry Christmas!

O Holy Night! The stars are brightly shining,
It is the night of the dear Saviour's birth.
Long lay the world in sin and error pining.
Till He appeared and the soul felt its worth.
A thrill of hope the weary world rejoices,
For yonder breaks a new and glorious morn...

Fall on your kneesOh hear the angel voices
Oh night divine
Oh night when Christ was born
Oh night divineOh night, oh night divine
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~May this season bring you peace and rest and many blessings.Have a wonderful Christmas!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The calm after the storm

Silent night, holy night
All is calm, all is bright...

Ah, yesterday. Yesterday was... interesting. BUT, I got all my shopping done in just over 5 hours, and had no trouble at all, even with finding parking spaces at the two malls I had to hit. Yay! I got my computer into the shop, and my car is now parked safely under my parent's carport. We're going to bucket out the water and run a heater in it for a day or two till it's all dry and toasty. When things open up after Christmas, I'll get it fixed, asap. Everything is wrapped, I've finished packing up for a few days at my parents, and I've made it to their house through the rain and the wind and the somewhat insane Christmas Eve traffic. I'm cozy, I'm fed, and I have nothing left to do but enjoy.

I can now relax. Christmas is here.

Something must be wrong with me...

Any normal person would be FREAKING out right now. Not me. I really should be...

Saturday morning, two days before Christmas. I have one tiny part of one gift bought. Nothing else. Nada.

My trunk has been leaking, and it's wet back there. I learned yesterday that it's wetter than I thought. There are four inches of water sloshing around underneath the floor of the trunk where the spare tire sits. And no plug I can pull to drain it.

My computer has been kinda acting up lately. It's really slow. And sometimes it just shuts off, just for fun and excitement. Yesterday when I got home from work it didn't turn on at all. I tried a number of things, once it began to boot, then it froze. No luck. My friend Brad, who is my hero for all things computer related, came over and took a look. Even HE couln'dt make it work. So today I took it in to a repair shop, desperately hoping it's not a hard drive problem cause I haven't backed anythign up for months. (Don't chide me! I feel bad enough!!)

Why am I so calm? I don't think it has anything to do with being patient, etc etc etc. I think it's more that I'm so far the past of stressed out and crazy that my eyes have glazed over and I'm just floating along throughout my day laughing hilariously at nothing in particular, and have lost all touch with reality.

I sense an eye twitch coming on...

Ha ha... ha..... hahahahahahaaahahaaaahaaaaaaaaaaaa.

Front page, baby!

So, the Globe and Mail? One of Canada's nation-wide newspapers? Anyone see the cover today? There's a picture of all the windstorm damage in Stanley Park with a lone city worker right in the center? That's my brother!!!!! Sah-weet! (Click for a bigger view)

The story (and photo credit) come from here.

(Ok, ok, I realize it's not nearly exciting to you who don't know him, but I think it's pretty cool that my brother's the only person pictured on the front page of a major national newspaper. Super cool!)

Updated: You know what? Just reading that article and seeing the various pictures of Stanley Park and all the damage makes me so, so sad. It's unbelievable the damage that those winds caused, really. The park will never be the same with some of those hubdreds-of-years-old trees just snapped off like toothpicks...

On the power of a little one

It was one of those evenings - surrounded by people, but feeling a little bit lonely and a little bit sad. In the midst of that, my favourite three year old walked up to me and crawled up into my lap. He just snuggled there for a bit, all curled up, then looked up at me and asked, "Will you sing Jingle Bells wif me?"

Just his little kid voice and me, while conversations continued all around us: Jingle bells, jingle bells, jingle all the way...

It was just what my heart needed: a little snuggle, a little song, a little heart hug from a little red-headed boy.

Sometimes it's those little things that make all the difference.

Bowing out for a bit

Well, it would seem I'm doing the cliche'd blogger thing and taking a break for a while. I don't know for how long (though really, let's be serious, it probably won't be very long. I have FAR to much to say to stay away!).

I have lots or marking to catch up on, all my Christmas shopping to do still (eep!) and some thoughts I need to sort out in my head, that I can't/won't hash out here. I'm ok, just need some time.

So for now, I'll leave you with a few things to enjoy/check out...

One, some fun crazy pictures from the gingerbread party last weekend. Be sure to check out the redneck gingerbread trailer!

Two, the video below, sent to me by a friend last week. Save Santa! It's funny (in a warped kind of way, yay), seasonal, and carries an important message. In related news, this movie is on my list of films to see over the Christmas break.

Three, this post, if you haven't read it already. It's ended up being one of my favourites in a while.

Four, leave me a comment here with a favourite Christmas memory or tradition (here's one of mine)! I'd love to hear your stories! (Ok, so that one's for ME to enjoy!)

Oh yeah, and for those of you who have asked, no, Eric hasn't written me. Too bad. I thought it would be fun to get in touch again, even just over email. Kind of like a mini grade 7 reunion of sorts, that's all.




(oh man, I'm such a teacher. I just made preparations for the time I'm going to be away!!!)

Insanity!

Ok, really? The weather gurus who have been predicting that this will be a warm, dry winter? I don't believe them ONE. BIT.

First, in early November, it was a huge rain storm that caused flooding and mudslides and an 11 day boil-water advisory. Our water looked like sludge.

Then, in mid November, still during the boil water advisory, there was a huge (for Vancouver, anyway) snowstorm and a week of sub-zero temperatures, causing all kinds of damage to trees, power lines, etc.

Last night was a major, major windstorm, the largest of three separate storms this week alone. There were hurricane-force winds at times, anywhere from 90-157km/hr. Huge trees have been blown over, slicing and stabbing through houses and vehicles. Part of the roof of a school downtown was blown off, causing major damage and flooding. And over 200,000 people in greater Vancouver are without power. Again. I watched some of the footage on the news, and it's mind-boggling.

And now?? It's snowing again!!!

Wowzers.

Still... they say all this worry about climate change is just a myth...

Befuddled

You know, I really did feel sorry for the poor guy... or at least I would have, if I wasn't laughing so hard!

Three students - two girls and a boy - were sitting at a table just in front of my desk, working on various assignments this afternoon. I was marking (grading!) math tests. I could hear the murmur of conversation, but wasn't really listening to what was being said. But all of a sudden my ears tuned in to this conversation:

Girl 1 and Girl 2: [incomprehensible chatter]
Boy: What are you talking about? Are you speaking another lanuage?
Girl 1: We're talking girl language.
Boy: It makes no sense!
Girl 2: It's perfect!
Boy: Oh brother.
Me (laughing): Oh, J, you'd better get used to that. You're going to be confused by girl language for many many years to come.
Boy: [sighs and slumps down in his seat.]

Tree-Trimming Traditions

Every year everyone in my family clears an evening in their schedule and we all go to mom and dad's house to decorate the family Christmas tree. Ours is NOT a "Martha Stewart" tree. It's a real live, sap-oozing, needle-dropping, scent-giving showcase of our family history. Every ornament on our tree has a story behind it: this one was made by Great-Grandma Friesen. She knitted one for each of us when she was nearly blind... Do you remeber making this one? We had all the neighbourhood kids over and we baked and painted dough ornaments for hours! ... These baubles were from the first Christmas we were married - they've been on our tree for thirty-three years... You made that one in kindergarten with Grandpa at a special evening Christmas craft night... That one was given to you by that little old lady who always sat behind us at church. She loved you kids so much! ... and on and on the stories go. Decorating the tree is a little time warp into our family's past. It's also a noisy, hilarious, crowded (there's always friends or language students or boyfriends/girlfriends, or some combination of those added to the mix), treat-filled evening. Did I mention it was noisy?

Dad always gets the tree set up before dinner. Because our Christmas tree stand is now ROUNDED on the bottom (DAD! Just get a new one!!!), the tree has to be secured to the wall/window ledges with string. I'm pretty sure the string is the only thing holding it up this year. "Is it straight?" Nope, a little to the left. "Umf! Is it straight?" Not quite. "Now?" Well now it's off center. "Yeah, but is it straight?" ...




This continues for who knows how long, then it's time for the lights. They get strewn all the way down the hallway and dad cirlces them around the tree while one of us feeds them to him. Sometimes things get a little tangled up...



Our family has a two set-in-stone traditions when it comes to our Christmas tree. The first one is the "squint test." Nobody wants a Christmas tree with big dark spots on it... the lights have to be evenly distributed. When dad's about halfway through the lights, it's time to do the "squint test." One (or more!) of us stand in the hallway and scrunch up our eyes to blur the lights. It's much easier to spot light-deficient places on the tree that way! Of course, if someone happens to be standing there with a camera, you end up with a picture of yourself that looks like this. Cuuute. Frankly, I much prefer this one.

The second tradition started back in 1993. My brother was 10 when he wrote this note, and every year when we put away the decorations, it gets tucked carefully back into the box. I'm going to let the note tell the story for me on this one. (Click on the picture if you need a larger view.)


After all the decorating was done this year, it was my brother's turn (according to the note!) to put the angel on the tree. It really doesn't matter to us now, but mom still insists we follow the order. It's fun!


There's the fam! The bestest in the whole wide world! Aaaawww!

NO WAY!!!!

Oh the powers of Google...

Anyone remember this little story about my first date? Well. Guess who just found my site??? I kid you not. I haven't seen him in 14 years. (Am I really old enough for that to even be possible?)

I thought for a moment it might just be someone playing a trick on me, you know, anonymous commenter makes up funny comment, but then I realized that he left a detail about the date that I hadn't mentionned. Aaah! That is SO cool.

Eric, if you read this again, shoot me an email - use the link over on the sidebar there. Tell me what colour your house was so I know it's actually you. I would love to find out what you're up to these days, and hear how your memories of that night were so different!

HaHA! Wow.

Um, sorry I called you a jerk... I guess I was, too, cause I laughed...

That's how the light gets in

Look around you this season. Light is everywhere. From the strings of red, blue, yellow and green hung from the eaves and draped over railings and hedges to the flicker of the candles that fill a room with the soft light so characteristic of this time of year. In these months when the days are shortest, still we find ways of filling our lives with light.

Light of the world, you stepped down into darkness...

And yet, this can also be a dark season. There are parts of us that are broken, longing, hurt. I see a little of that in my own heart at times. And for others, there may be great pain this season. There may be joy, yes, but mixed with the sadness of a life not quite as they hoped it would be. Regret. Loss. Unfulfilled hope. Whatever it is, we don't feel quite whole. There are cracks in our lives, in our hearts.

Do not be afraid, do not be afraid
..........Love has found its way to you, do not be afraid...

One of the things I love about this time of year is that, if I actually take the time to think about the baby boy born on Christmas eve, I am reminded again of new hope, new life, new promise. It's fitting, somehow, that Christmas is at the end of the year. Whatever the year has brought us - the good, the bad, the beautiful, the ugly - it all gets wrapped up in one last hurrah of boisterous parties, holiday food, generosity and goodwill, and, if we're wise, quiet reflection. It's a time to look back, to look forward... to look up. The baby, from cradle to cross, at the center of it all.

Come thou long expected Jesus, born to set thy people free
..........From our sins and fears release us, let us find our rest in thee

It's in the times of feeling that I'm so imperfect, have made so many mistakes, have so many cracks in who I want to be, that I am reminded that that's just how God wants me to come to him this Christmas. I don't have to be all polished and perfect, all my issues dealt with, all my problems solved. Instead, I can come in rough and dishelveled, goof-ups and muddy feet from the year that has almost passed in plain view, and kneel down beside the manger. Cracks and all, I offer what little I have to give to the baby lying there.

Ring the bells that still can ring
..........Forget your perfect offering
....................There is a crack, a crack in everything
..............................But that's how the Light gets in.




_______________________________________
Light of the World... from Here I Am To Worship by Tim Hughes
Do not be afraid... from Do Not Be Afraid by Carolyn Arends [listen]
Come thou long expected Jesus... from the hymn of the same name
Ring the bells... from Anthem by Leonard Cohen

Get me a dentist, STAT!

Stepping into my house after church today, my nose was greeted with the leftovers of last night's party. Cinnamon, cloves, gingerbread... but the most overwhelming aroma was one that threatened to rush in and pound out my teeth one by one. My house smells like SUGAR. I kid you not.

Chocolate. Jube jubes. Licorice. Smarites. Gummy bears. Ribbon Candy. Nerds. M&Ms. Cherry Blasters. Reces Pieces. Bubble Tape. Rosebuds. Marshmallows. Sour kids. Sprinkles. And gobs and gobs of royal icing.

Really, I could get another sugar high just from breathing right now.

Oh yes. It was a gingerbread extravaganza. I learned many things last night. Number one, when you ask people to bring a small amount of candy, hooboy, do they deliver. Number two, there is no end to the creativity of my friends. The redneck gingerbread trailer with pink bubble tape door is witness to that. Number three, when there's a crowd to do it, putting up all my Christmas decorations takes approximately 3.7 seconds. And, speaking of crowds, number four, I learned that I really can fit 18 people in my little suite (well, "fit" might not be the best word, but they were in here). Yessss!

Oh man, my head still hurts from the sugar rush. And I still have stacks of gingerbgread left over, not to mention the MASSIVE bag of leftover candy. Perhaps I'll send my students home with little (ok, huge) goody bags. On the last day of school, of course, when I don't have to see them again for two weeks. ;-)

Pictures to come...

Busy bee

Wow. I ACTUALLY didn't post yesterday. Shocker!!!

Man, Wednesday was a doozy. I'm still feeling overwhelmed, but not nearly as dispairing as I was. I had had a ROUGH day with my kids, and I was ready to THROTTLE them*. Plus, my voice was serverely giving out on me. I've had no voice since Tuesday. I sound like a wheezing moose. It's really cute. *rolls eyes* Even my students have been asking me, "Ms Hillary, why are you here?"

ALTHOUGH.... super duper warm fuzzy moment... every moring since Tuesday, one of the goofball boys in my class has been in early, and has greeted me with,"Good morning, Ms Hillary! Are you feeling better today?" Aw! (I've been playing the "I have no voice and I reeeallly can't talk over you" card all week. It's worked for the most part.) Yesterday he asked me, "Why are you even here? You should stay home!" I explained to him that I had to be here this week for report cards, yadda yadda yadda. Then today as we were walking down to the library, he told me, "You know what? You should stay home on Monday. Report cards are done now, so you don't have to come. And maybe Tuesday, too!"

"Are you trying to get rid of me????" I teased. "You just don't want me around! You're gonna make me cryyyy!"

"Ha ha! No! You just need to get some rest so you get better."

Awwwww! From a 10 year old boy! What a sweetie!

And now? I'm cleaning my house and baking gingerbread like a madwoman. Woohoo! Yay for Christmas time!

______________________
* Turns out is was a full moon on Wednesday. Aaaaahhhh... THAT explains it. Seriously, the kids were NUTTY. N-U-T-T-Y. I gave up 45 minutes before the end of the day, cancelled the last lesson I had planned, and took them down to the gym to join in the carolling winter sing-a-long. [boo hiss] Good thing that was happening, or I do believe my kids would have seen me open up one serious can of whoop-a$$. Big time.